It’s the Christmas holidays, innit. And for us, those two words, Christmas and holidays are kind of separated. By several continents. We haven’t done a Christmas in the UK for about 36 years. Because given a choice between spending the time off at home with Auntie Mabel, getting another monogrammed beige cardigan (do I fucking look like Val Doonican???), or lying on a beach in 85 degrees of sunshine sipping Margeritas/daiquiris/sake/beer/ANYTHING, call me old-fashioned but I’ll take the latter. I’ll even take Mel with me because she ‘needs’ sunshine in the winter. And I’m prepared to make that sacrifice. That’s Love!!

But this year we’re going to spend Christmas in Tier 4. And we’re not even having sufficient around to justify a turkey. We’ve ordered three quarters of a chicken instead as there’s only us and Mel’s elderly dad, with whom we share some kind of bubble arrangement or care or something that I’d know properly if I gave a shit about the ever changing rules and regulations.

We’re not even spending ‘the day’ with Lila and Joey!!! Because they’ve gone on holiday. Today. For some rest and relaxation. So let me tell you how that worked out, exactly.

They booked it 2 weeks ago. Bargain. All holidays are bargains, currently, because taking them is too fraught for most to even consider. To wit, 4 days after they booked Boris added Tenerife, their destination, to the list of banned substances. Ok, he didn’t, but he added it to the list of ‘quarantine for 2 weeks upon return’ places. Which is a problem. Cos if L & J can’t go to nursery, mummy and daddy can’t work. Oh. But we can overcome that, short quarantine, take a covid test and then its only one week. Phew. We’re going!!

Then more doubts, more deliberations, more potential problems, but we’re still going!

Yesterday arrived. Tier… FOUR!!! Stay in, go nowhere, no travel, don’t breathe, lock your doors and, notably, no flights!!! Several hours of web-site searching and calls to airlines and resorts later, full of sweat, tears and anxiety… WE CAN GO!!!

And they’ve arrived. Safe and sound at their resort. Which is all inclusive, so even 14 hours of therapy with a team of covid counsellors is free. And needed to get over the preceding fortnight.

Happy holidays

A xxxx