I’m going on holiday today. Really looking forward to it. We’re going to Watford. I’ve bought a few tour guide books, (the longest being 3 pages long which includes listings of the services at the General Hospital), done my research about the history and environs (took 4 minutes), I’ve done the online check-in and I’m planning the journey. I’m not even sure what language they speak there, but that’s just part of the fun. I’ve noted all the nearest beaches (Bournemouth, Norfolk and Southend-on-Sea) and fished out the passports.

Watford’s in that bizarre limbo-land which is a bit too far from London to be considered as part of it but way too southerly to be deemed officially ‘up norf’. The Evening Standard generally puts Watford football fixtures in bold type, meaning London club, but since they started losing so consistently its really not worth wasting the ink. So its not really London, but still on the tube line. The end of the tube line.

Having been to Australia, New Zealand and Japan earlier in the year, Watford actually represents ‘exotic’ in my world, and I can’t wait.

We actually won it. The ‘holiday’. In a raffle at a charity event. We never win raffles. They’re not for winning, they’re for increasing your charitable contributions. But win we did. A night at The Grove. Which is, without a doubt, the poshest place ever to be associated with Watford. Its a beautiful hotel, spa, golf course (for people who define sports differently to me) and restaurants. And we have a room there. And breakfast. We’re having dinner but unless I can sign it to someone else’s room, we’ll have to pay for that ourselves.

The question is why they put such an amazing place in Watford at all. But they did and we won it, so that’s where our next holiday will be. Just 15 minutes up the motorway. And by the time we get home, tomorrow afternoon after abusing all the hospitality and swimming pools we can for as long as we can get away with it, Lila will be on her way to Greece. On a different kind of holiday with her mummy and daddy and baby bwuvver Doey. We were invited but declined on the grounds that slavery has been abolished. Even for grandparents.

Though to be honest, being a grandparent isn’t all its cracked up to be. As you can see on this pic at our cafe this morning. Who needs it? All that love. Really overrated.

When I have more important matters pending, like the Spurs match at Arsenal tomorrow. The biggest sporting event of the year in any country at any time. Bigger than the Super Bowl, bigger than any cup final, any Grand Prix, any Ashes test, bigger than proroguing parliament.

Happy holidays

A xxxx