You get two types of people on a flight from Heathrow to Tel Aviv. Jews. And Christians. The Jews, in the main part, from England/Europe and the Christians always from America. Ok, there are others in the flight demographic, a few Muslims, possibly some Hindus, Catholics, Zoroastrians, Buddhists Jains, who knows or cares. Pilgrims. You go to Madrid, Rome, Prague, you’re a holiday-maker, go to Israel you’re a pilgrim. The Jews returning to the mothership, like salmon do when they spawn. Except Israel is not where most Jews originated. It is possibly more our future than our past. My ancestral homeland is somewhere between Poland, Belarus and Whitechapel. So we go for a wedding. Not to spawn. Nor as pilgrims. Because we’ve been there 327 times before.

But the Christians are pilgrims indeed. They are in search of Jesus. And you know they’re Americans by the completely bewildered looks on their faces as they realise that row 27 is actually right in front of row 28 and just behind row 26. Or perhaps that is part of the search itself. Looking for Jesus on BA 0164. Then, as the Bible says (New Testament), sit down and speak really loudly. But that’s fine. These are good people. Even though they probably live in Arkansas, vote Republican, own a garage full of guns, love Trump and burn crosses on a Saturday night. But we love them too. Because friends of Israel are sadly only too rare in this world, and totally non-existent and not-allowed in the Labour Party. And these Americans love and revere the Holy Land with all their heart and soul. Hallelujah and Amen.

There were so many groups at the airport, all with their signs ‘HolyLand Southern Baptists’ and ‘Mormons for Jesus’, ‘Adventists World Tour’, we really didn’t know which to join. So we went to the car rentals instead to start our own tour. Less Jesus, more Hummus.

Israel is experiencing a late summer (November?) heatwave. It’s currently about 30 degrees and fabulously fabulous. And for the Americans: that’s degrees of ‘shit that’s hot’, rather than ‘fetch me my bearskin’.

Happy holidays

A xxxx