There is palpable relief in the entire Newcastle region. The owner of their beloved football club, the fat, obnoxious, Cockney, wide-boy (ticks every box for meanings of that phrase), has sold the club to its new owners. The Geordies hated Mike Ashley and, pretty much, everything he stood for. But mainly, they resented his constant refusal to become the bottomless pocket they really wanted in order to up the game of their football team. And they could never forgive his London-ness.

So now they have the owner they have always deserved. A local boy. If your location is Riyadh. A man with pockets so deep that were you to ever reach the bottom you’d just hit oil. A man so tough, so fearless, so in keeping with the Geordie spirit that he is virtually a convicted murder. A man never seen wearing a coat, holding an umbrella or passing out due to excess alcohol.

And that is Mohammed Bin Salman. MBS if you can’t read an Arabic acronym. Although that will from now on become part of the Newcastle school curriculum.

But those are the details. Just replace the word ‘Newcastle United’ with ‘Manchester City 12 years ago’ and that’s where we’re going. Because their team is now funded by Saudi Arabia. All of it. And if that is not ‘all the riches in the world’ its probably most of them. Think of all the money that nation has saved over the decades by refusing to issue driving licenses to women. They’ve never had to waste all that money on parliament and legislature in sorting out gay rights. Equality. It’s much cheaper to build gallows than prisons.

But you don’t need a morality test to own a Premier League club. Nor a ‘decent human being’ test either, otherwise Manchester United would be for sale. No-one questioned Roman Abramovich’s billions when he took over at Chelsea. No-one realised how the Emirates would make a laughing stock of the ‘financial fair play’ regulations at Man City.

So Spurs go to St. James’ Park this afternoon amid the celebrations and excitement of the new ownership. Fortunately for us, for the moment Newcastle are still fielding the same shit team they were when Mike Ashley left. Unfortunately for us, Son has got covid and can’t play.

I’m deeply concerned with the future. Both immediate (at 4.30) and longer term for the ‘beautiful game’. Which kind’a gets uglier with every passing day.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx