I just received an email from Rishi Sunak. Personal one. Addressed to ‘Andrew’. Not just that but ‘Dear Andrew’ because he loves me. All Prime Ministers do. Signed it ‘love Rishi xxxx’.

Ok, it was a form message, but ONLY sent to the most important 66 million people in the country.

And he sent it because he’s taken a new stance on climate change and wanted to tell me to ditch the fucking electric car now, turn the lights back on, stockpile coal, burn petrol as much as possible, hike the central heating and eat polar bears. Because we’re so ahead of the curve on climate control that he’s worried we might actually exceed our reduction targets for 2050 and actually be taking carbon out of the environment. Which the trees won’t like. So he’s changing the date of compulsory electric vehicles from 2030 to 2035, and similarly, we can still get new, gas-burning, highly-emitting, carbon producing home boilers until that date, rather than getting penguin-friendly heat pumps.

All all because he thinks that the average brick-layer’s assistant will struggle to come up with 45 grand for a new van and 25k for the heat pump!

Even for a man who would tomorrow swap his fabulous electric vehicle for a 1970, 6-litre, Dodge Challenger R/T and run it on Nitro-methane, Rishi’s move seems a little ‘anti-zeitgeist’. As the whole world is moving towards lowering carbon with the over-riding importance on ‘NOWWWW!!!!!’, Rishi is chilled about the warming, he’s cool with Greece burning to the ground and the floods everywhere from Europe to last night in the fucking West End!!!!

Sales in superglue will rocket as the eco-warriors prepare to stick themselves to every road, building and non-electric vehicle in the land.

Cynics think Rishi’s change of direction is due to people’s hostility against ULEZ, being symptomatic of a reluctance to adhere to environmental issues if they cost ME money. And therefore, pulling back could be a vote winner. There again, looking at the economy, the NHS waiting lists, the strikes and the general shit, Rishi has a lot more work to do. But apparently, ‘we’ll still be fine for 2050, carbon neutral’. Yeah. Right.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx