I’m in Tenerife. Its hot. Job done. Mrs C needs an infusion of ultra violet in the winter, there’s probably nowhere nearer than the Canary Islands to achieve that aim. They call it ‘Spain’. But it’s not. Its Africa. Just to the west of the southern end of Morocco, where it meets Western Sahara. Florida shares the same line of latitude. Could’a gone there. But it’s further. Longer flight. And it’s Florida. Possibly my least favourite state which isn’t KKK affiliated. We could have gone to Sudan, same degree of southernness. But the resort got bombed. Ok, not a ‘resort’ so much as a camp site. And there’s problems with travel insurance. So Tenerife it was. And is. Quite frankly, it’s gorgeous here. The problem is, someone brought Lila and Joey out here too. Oh no! How did that happen??? And it’s Chanukah. Which, for the 5th time in 100 years, falls precisely on Christmas Day. So you’d think; well, in a Catholic country, it’ll be all about Jesus. Yet this part of Tenerife is a little less ‘Spain’ and a bit more ‘northwest London refugees’, so on the beach last night, there was this. Lighting the Chanukah candles. By a rabbi. You don’t need a rabbi, anyone can light candles, but by having a rabbi, and furthermore, one with a proper beard AND hat, we were truly blessed. Because the more religious it is, the less calories are in the doughnuts which you are obliged to eat. And it was really lovely. Happy. Communal. With doughnuts.

Whereas in the London Borough of Westminster, they decided not to have the Chanukah menorah this year, at Trafalgar Square, like they do every year. Because ‘of the weather’. Oh, ok. Like Chanukah is normally in the summer? No, it’s always Christmas, give or take a week or two. So why would Sadiq Kahn, in his infinite (lack of) wisdom, choose to approve such a move? Maybe between the police, the mayor and Hamas, they’ve decided that anything Jew-related is simply too inflammatory, too sensitive, will cause masses of ‘upset’ among people to allow a wonderful, happy, biblical celebration to take place in our capital. They’ve now conceded to put it up for the rest of Chanukah, which is very nice of them. Now that ‘wind speeds don’t make it dangerous’. Right.

Meanwhile, Tenerife has reached official swimming temperature for those of us who don’t swim when it’s cold. Or cool. Or even ‘not very hot’. So I’m on it. Following Mrs Conway up and down the pool like a whale on heat. Or in the heat.

Happy Chanukah

A xxxx