I’ve never been to Mexico before. Unless you count a day in Tijuana in 1981 when Paulchi & I walked across the border from San Diego, decided we needed neither hookers and drugs, nor hand-tooled, leather rifle cases and walked back to ‘merica and civilistaion.

Yet here I am, on the Mayan Riviera.

And I expected all Mexicans to look like Emilio Estevez, like Jimmy Smits, Selma Hayek and Eva Longoria. Possibly like J Lo (even though she’s Puerto Rican). But they don’t. They look short, squat and dark. Like Peruvians. Like Ecuadorians.
I expected some to look like the villains in spaghetti westerns, greasy hair and dirty teeth, but they’re not like that either. Their dentistry is fine and their trichology hygenic. And generally, they’re lovely and smiley and friendly. Like Peruvians and Euadorians and most other South Americans.

So from an anthropological perspective, one must assume that the taller, fairer, slimmer Mexicans are the reuslt of the Spaniards shagging the shit out of the indiginous population and creating the more European appearane of some of the population. Leaving the original mayans pretty much as they’ve always been since Montezuma exacted his revenge on whomosoever he chose.

Even more fascinating is the food on offer here. Ok, we’re in a ‘resort’ so Mexico ‘proper’ is banned and turned away at the gates. So the food they give us is Anglicised mexican and european. And American. Because Mexico is almost the 51st state of Unitedness. They take dollars here, they have starbucks, and subway and all other ‘delights’ of US ‘culture’ (a phrase which is almost a contadiction in terms).

So now, at almost 11.30 I’ve had 3 of my 5 a day. Coffees that is. You can’t get fruit or vegetables here and who fucking needs ’em? And later on I shall get in touch with my inner mexican (called Miguel and not short and dark at all) and sample at least 19 different types of tequila.

But for now, I’m hot and steamy and in need of a swim.

How’s London today?

Like I give a shit. (never one to gloat)

Happy whatever day it might be; I’m on holiday so don’t give a shit,

A xxxx