We went to Northampton yesterday. As ya do. Well, there’s an amazing play centre there, the likes of which don’t exist down in high rent land as you need acres of space for laser-quest and dodgem cars for kids and climbing walls and indoor mini-golf and all the other wonders that little kids lurve. We didn’t take the kids, just fancied it. Ok, we did. But Northampton? Well, that’s ‘an hour’ away. As long as… obviously, when the M1 is concerned. Its 55 miles. But really, that depends on what you consider ‘a mile’. Because accounts may vary.

There’s old-fashioned miles, like those we’ve driven for decades using those old-fashioned petrol cars. Remember petrol? Amazing to think we used to go TO a special place where you could stand there high as a kite from fumes, for 6 minutes pumping tree-killing, planet-destroying, animal-threatening hydrocarbon-emitting fossil fuels into the car, then, like paying for it? But really paying. Ahhhh, those were the days…

Because along with ‘superior’ methods of propulsion, we’ve also managed to create a new ‘mile’ to go along with it. A more… ‘variable’ mile. A lot shorter. The actual shortness of which possibly depends on how cold it is outside, how loudly you play the stereo and how many times Joey opens and closes his window.. It all gets rather complex.

I ‘filled up the car’ on Wednesday night so when we left home its stated range was ‘325 miles’ with 100% charge. Wow. So many volts I barely knew what to do with them all. So off we went. Had a totally brilliant morning (couldn’t afford the afternoon as well; but seriously), then out for lunch. To McDonalds. Because Mel & I love Maccy Ds. And never allow ourselves to eat it. Except when we have a viable excuse. So although Joey was yelling for fresh vegatables, Lila screaming to go the ‘Vegan Curse’ restaurant next door, we dragged them in to McDonalds. Had to park the car round the corner because McDonalds don’t allow drivers of electric cars inside. Obviously. Then, happy with our lunch (me) and our ‘happy meal’ toys (Mel) we came home.

And the car showed our remaining range of 105 miles. We’d driven 220 ‘new’ miles on a 110 ‘old’ mile trip. I think, if they’re encouraging electric vehicle usage, they need to redo the distance signs on the motorways. Something like this:

LEEDS 175 MILES
IN AN EV 295 MILES
HEATER ON 325 MILES
JOEY FUCKING ABOUT WITH WINDOWS 365 MILES

Just for clarity and simplicity.

Happy travels

A xxxx