When Apple Inc introduced the i-pod in 1853 it created a revolution. A million records in a piece of digital wizardry the size of a finger-nail. Ok, I exaggerate. The original i-pod held just 2 tracks and was the size of a bus. De-scaling came later along with increased capacity. Then came the i-phone which changed the world even further. More remarkable was the ipad, upon which I’m writing this. Because no-one needed i-pads, no-one was crying out for something too big to shlep around but too small to be brilliantly multi-functional. Yet we embraced out inner-geek, put our reservations aside and channeled another $57billion into Apple for just making the effort.

And now, another startling innovation, the latest ‘must have’, to-die-for bit of kit, launched yesterday. The Homosexual CEO. Its simply brilliant, hard-working, imaginative, industrious, ground-breaking and bent as a five-bob note. The i-gay. Its honest, out-the-closet and a role model for any others trapped inside a false world they can’t survive. Well done Tim Cook.

Very 2014. Except in Russia where one St Petersburg politician has already demaned Mr Cook be ‘banned’. Doubtless others of a homophobic bent (???) will come out of their closets in the not-too-distant. ISIS will doubtless throw away all their i-phones and the ‘Christian Right’ in the USA has been thus far uncharacteristically quiet.

So best take a holiday until its all blown over. Where d’ya fancy? If Cliftonville is a bit too exciting for you, the Grand Canyon a bit bland, New York too noisy and Koh Samui too bloody sandy, then how about North Korea? Oooohhh, that’s different. Apparently they are trying to encourage a tourist trade. Based, so it would sound, on ‘just being in a really wierd place that most people haven’t visited’. You fly in, you can never be without a ‘minder’ who is not there to protect you but to make sure you don’t go astray or actually speak to anyone who might tell you their horrors. You can’t use a phone or take photos and you may end up in prison for life. if this sounds just what you’re looking for then send me your credit card number and all your passwords and I’ll rob you blind.

They’re making a new Thunderbirds movie. That is very very exciting. I love Thunderbirds. Especially The housekeeper’s daughter. Always had a thing about her. As did that bastard Alan Tracey. Or, ‘old wooden-dick’ as I called him. But the son of the Andersons has raised funding to make a new Thunderbirds type movie (£8.43 for string, £28.90 for spare wood) and its out soon. Who need sodding CGI???

Happy Friday

A xxxx