Ok, so I swear all the time. But I swear for fun. For effect. For emphasis. To accentuate, to obliterate, to obfuscate, to… ok, degenerate, but its all bollocks. And that’s one kind of ‘swearing’. The other is when you swear an oath. Swear on your life. And generally I avoid those. Too much commitment, too great a need for a level of honesty and consistency I can’t hope to uphold.

But all that is about to change!!!

I’m going to swear allegiance to my King!!!

He wants us all to pledge our allegiance to Him. King Charles III-rd. And I can’t wait. Just like in the old days when you followed your king into battle. So when Henry VIII was hoisted by 15 men and winch onto his horse to lead us at Agincourt, the men swore their oaths to him. When James II landed on Dunkirk beach, I’d have been right behind him with my sword and my Royal banner.

Oh, what do you mean the king no longer leads us into war? The government do that? What that rabble of bullies and morons who can’t organise a piss up in a brewery, unless its in lockdown, then they do it with no problem. I’m not swearing allegiance to them, they’re awful.

Americans have their ‘pledge of allegiance’ and make their kids say it every day at school. Because they are, as a nation, fairly retarded, incredibly gullible and don’t understand guns. So to whom are they pledging? Donald Trump?? Joe Biden??? These are the men who operate the system that is the United States. They are ‘ground zero’ when the shit hits the fan. And neither have every been worthy of support of any description, let alone unfailing loyalty.

I’m happy Charles is to be our king. I’d be happy if it was William. Elton John. Ossie Osbourne. Harry Kane. Because the king is but an irrelevant figurehead. He’s there for the tourist trade. Not for me. What we supposed to do; follow him into his organic farming business?

Fuck dat. The only swearing I’m going to do is of the profane type. Plus ca change…

Happy Sunday, I swear it is.

A xxxx