So there we all were, revering the Icelandics, loving those Icelanders, admiring those Icelandishers for being such a sweet, itty-bitty ickle nation, ahhhhhhhh. And that they’re all great and underdogs and blond and eat rotten herrings that have laid (dead) in the sun for about 4 months, and all good thoughts like that. Icelanders? Love ’em. Beat us fair and square, we woz shite, they was grite, (cross between ‘gritty’ and ‘great’, just trying it out for the quarter-finals).

And now we learn a little more about the volcanic rock dwelling, undergroundly thermal Scands from up there where the Northern Lights don’t shine. Well they bloody didn’t when we went there.

They’re fascists. Bastard, nazi, nanny-stating fascists. Because…

When you have a baby in Iceland, its a great thing. Only 330,000 babies have ever been born there before! (I don’t count dead people.) So you think, as all new parents do, what you’d like to call your baby. Don’t fancy ‘another’ Eidur, or Gylfi or Kolbeinn, cos EVERYone is called that on your block, never mind, call him Nigel. After the saviour of all Europe.

Ah; sorry. You can’t name him that. Its not on the approved list. WHATTTTTTT!!!!!! What fucking approved list? Its my baby, I can call him what I sodding want. In fact I can call him ‘Sodding’ if I want.

Actually, you can’t. Iceland has a list of about 1700 ‘approved names’ for Icelandic children and you have to use one of those. We are Iceland, which is why our supermarket wasn’t called ‘Tesco’. It was deemed un-Icelandic. True that they never referred to the TOTAL FAILURE OF THE BANK OF SOMEWHERE ELSE, did they? No, it was ‘the bank of Iceland’ that failed miserably. And proudly. Icelandic-ly.

Similarly, to ensure our cultural heritage, all children should have Icelandic names. From the list. How do you feel about Eidur?

A couple of Anglo-Icelanders (must have been hell for them on Monday night) named their daughter Harriet. Nice name. Sadly, Harriet was never the name of a Viking slayer of three-headed bison, nor a godess of cold things, nor anything vaguely Icelandic. So on her passport it just referred to her as ‘Girl’ followed by her surname.

Twelve years later, they have finally been given approval to use the name Harriet. And, fair enough, the government there are in the process of removing this very silly law.

SO DON’T TELL ME HOW BLOODY WONDERFUL ICELAND IS!!!! WHEN THEY DO THAT!!!!! AND BEAT ENGLAND!!!!!

I bear no grudges.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx