If only Maro Itoje was our Prime Minister, and Kieran Read the leader of the opposition, life would be so simple. Because everyone would know their roles and everything would go like clockwork and there’d be no posturing, no posing, no cheating; no room for liars, procrastinators, deliberators or outright masturbators. As seems to be the case most of the time in Westminster. In Japan its different. England met the All Blacks this morning and re-worked the whole ‘St George and the dragon’ legend to create a totally new one. We beat the fucking All Blacks. Didn’t just beat them but did something much more seemingly impossible than that. We made them look completely ordinary. Took away their potency and left them decidedly second best. And it was awesome and it was inspirational and it was the finest thing that has happened since 1936, possibly 1983. It was THAT good.

But the Brexit which was ‘done’ on Tuesday then ‘undone’ about 10 minutes later when it was voted that the deal couldn’t possibly be approved by next Wednesday, firstly because its very long and needs reading very carefully without falling asleep, and secondly because it probably is a pretty shit deal otherwise the EU wouldn’t have accepted it.

So Boris needs to call a general election because his ‘lame duck’ government can’t pass water at the moment, lacking a majority in the house. But the opposition party won’t agree to that. Even though a general election is all Jeremy Corbyn has been banging on about since he lost the last one. Ah, but not now. Not til Brexit’s done. Not til ‘no deal’ is taken off the table. Not til we’ve won the rugby World Cup. Not til the ozone layer is restored. Not til Greta Thundberg sits on the throne. THEN we’ll have a general election.

But to put more cats among yet more pigeons, Mnsr Macron (little French geezer; married to his granny, small man syndrome personified, the new definition of ‘Napoleon Syndrome’, lots of syndromes and psychological hang-ups) is now threatening to scupper the extension request. The one Boris never wanted in the first place. But Macron has the power of veto and may implement it. Thus sending Britain ‘crashing out of Europe’ on Thursday, sans deal!!!! Because the extension is to ‘article 50’ and if its not extended then we’re gone. And that’ll be Corbyn’s fault. For refusing to accelerate the time table. Bringing about his (claimed) worst nightmare of crashing out without a deal.

Though really his actual worst nightmare is losing another general election, which he most certainly would. I read today that 78% of Jews would rather have no-deal than Corbyn. That would include me. I’d rather have head lice than Corbyn. I think we should convert the rest of the country to Judaism and then Corbyn would never get in.

So vote for Itoje. I would. And tomorrow morning we find out who England will play in the final. Wales or South Africa. Oooooohhhhh…

Happy Saturday

A xxxx