Michael Gove is a drug addict!
Michael Gove uses cocaine!!!
Michael Gove took cocaine a couple of times!!
Michael Gove made a mistake!!!

So we learn today that 20 years ago Michael Gove, minister for something-or-other, or possibly not, but Tory leadership candidate and all round good guy, took cocaine (!!!!!) on a few occasions when he was a ‘young journalist’. And we also learn that ‘it was a mistake’. Ok, Michael, what did you mistake that white powder, arranged in neat little lines on a horizontal mirror, what did you ‘mistake’ it for as you rolled up your ten pound note and inserted it into your nostril? Where did the ‘mistake’ occur. Did someone tell you it was a new sinus unblocker? Which it pretty much is. Unfortunately with too much use it doesn’t just unblock but gets rid of all that useless flesh that holds your nose together too. But Michael has admitted it and declared it to be a ‘mistake that he wished had never happened’. Which, presumably, is why he took it on several occasions. To realise how big a mistake it really was. I’ll bet he didn’t think it was a mistake at the time. Cocaine’s not like that. At the time it felt like the most fantastic, empowering, life-affirming, superman-creating thing he’d ever done. He felt like a GOD!!!! Leadership competitor Boris thinks he’s a god too, but without any drug assistance.

So why did Gove feel the need to ‘get this news out there’? Oh, because he doesn’t want photos of his ‘illegal activities’ suddenly appearing in the Daily Mirror (wouldn’t be the Mail because him and his wife both write for them), probably with the implication that the photo was taken last week. It’s what politicians with aspirations do; clear out their closets. They have to. David Cameron said he toked on a joint a ‘few times’ (read: spent 4 years at university out of his fucking head which, when it wasn’t sucking on bong was stuck inside a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes), Barak Obama was a stoner, Clinton would have been but chose, rather stupidly if you ask me, not to inhale. Which is like drinking a fine whisky without swallowing it.

And most people forgive their leaders, or potential leaders, the ‘folly of youth’. The young are almost expected to act stupidly, borderline illegally, its was ‘growing up’ is for. It makes them more human. I’ve forgiven Gove already. In fact I admire his honesty (if it wasn’t so damned cynical) and feel he’s more ‘rounded’ for having lived a little bit on some kind of super-middle-class ‘edge’ before becoming the nerd we know and love.

Yet on the radio this morning was the ‘ultra-Tory’ saying that taking drugs is a ‘crime’ and is not forgivable and should rule Gove out of the race. Tosser. And unfortunately, the 150,000 members of the Conservative Party who get to vote for our new Prime Minister, and them alone, in all likelihood, will share that very view. They’re not renowned for their tolerance to any kind of deviation from their own very stringent and proper norm.

#anyonebutcorbyn

Happy Saturday

A xxxx