There’s few sights in the world as beautiful as a ship under sail. With, like, sails. Four sheets to the wind. In the literal sense. It’s as peaceful as when your Nirvana cd comes to the end. As serene as a David Ginola goal. As beautiful as the South Stand at White Hart Lane. As relaxing as washing my car.

It is oft said that the two happiest days in the life of a boat-owner are the day he buys the boat and the day he sells it. And you know why. To buy something like this one pictured would be the achievement of a lofty aspiration. Then you have to park it. Even driving it is probably not as easy as it looks. I’ve tried using sails a few times in my past and the expression ‘failed miserably’ doesn’t cover the ineptitude even 1%. Ok, you think, so buy a motor launch. A ‘super yacht’. Even a ‘not so super yacht’. Still costs thousands a month to moor it up somewhere you’d need it to be. Yeah, you could park in Dundee pretty cheaply but you want it in Nice, Monte Carlo, Porto Banus, or even Athens. So you have access all summer to the wonders of the Med. I’d keep mine in Tilbury, then just ‘pop’ over to the Caribbean for a week or so.

In truth, I’ve never had any feelings to buy a boat. The Boatman has one but that’s just a luxury flat that floats. With a maximum of 4 knots it’d take 7 months to get to Ireland. I’ve always fancied those boats they have in America. Just a long speed boat with a massive dragster engine on the back. Accelerates from nought to ‘flip right over’ in 3.7 seconds. But they’d be the most exhilarating 3.7 seconds of your life. And the most hospitalised insurance claim of your life too.

So I’m not buying a boat, even though it looks like the best thing in the world. Instead, I saved up to buy a fish.

We ate it last night. I’d send you a pic because it was simply the most wonderful thing, but this photo is too good to waste, so you’ll have to wait. It was a sea-bream and at the totally-Kea-island-bargain price of 55 Euros a kilo. And it weighed a kilo and could have fed 4. They know how to cook fish here. Almost like it’s an island or something. It was simply fantastic. The second best fish I’ve ever eaten. By a long way. The absolute best was a sea trout we had in Port Douglas, Queensland. I’ve probably got a photo of that one somewhere. Must look in my ‘dead fish’ album and find it.

And that’s my life at this precise moments in time. Gorgeous boats that I don’t want and fabulous fishes that I can’t afford. Its tough.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx