These are days of almost rabid inclusivity. If that is not a contradiction, probably is, which is why I’ve never seen it before. But if inclusivity is (doh) including everybody, regardless of differences, then it becomes rabid when people just stretch those differences to sometimes quite ridiculous levels. “Well that form wot I filled in from da Council never listed ‘one-legged Mongolian, trans-gender-mind-change-then-back-to-straight-before-coming-out but now celibate, omnivorous former vegan asthmatics’! It’s discrimination! My fuman rights is being abused!!!”

But to be a little… contrary? Risqué, peutetre, I just want to take stock for a moment. And possibly consider some worthy exclusions.

I’m most currently concerned with the United Kingdom. My very own Great Britain. Well, the Queen’s very own, but she let me borrow it. After a very un-zeitgeisty exclusion of her own grandson and his… schv… his… wife. Because Great Britain consists of England, the good bit, plus what we collectively term: ‘the liabilities’. We have Northern Ireland, and we all know the endless joys which that particular gift just keeps on giving.

Then there’s Scotland. Currently being torn apart internally by the battle royal between the vile Nicola Sturgeon and the revolting Alex Salmond. Currently taking place in a courtroom near you. If you happen to live in Edinburgh. For my money, bring back hanging and take them both to the gallows. But do it slowly.

And now Wales. Formerly the ‘nice one’ of our little ‘empire’. And they had the audacity to beat us at rugby yesterday! What a fucking bunch of ingrates. Even the referee was Welsh. He changed his name from Daffid Llewellyn, adopted a French accent for the day worthy of Cluseau and led the Welsh to a cheating victory. On his own. Other than the other 15 who were quite brilliant.

Then onto Europe, whilst we’re excluding unworthy no-goods. The ‘family’ I never wanted to abandon and yet now I’m so glad I did. Because I’ve been vaccinated and they haven’t. None of ‘em. Well, a few percent. Because their united government made a political decision that they didn’t want no stinking Astrazeneca vaccine made by them ‘orrible Limeys. They want good, European vaccines that can overcome coronavirus and garlic in one go. And unfortunately, other than the Pfizer, there aren’t any. The French one is no good and no-one else has one.

Thus Angela Merkel proclaiming to her nation that ‘she would never have the AZ vaccine’, and Macron conducting a very scientific study of that drug and concluding that ‘it doesn’t work on the over-65s’, based on… errrr… based on the price of Camembert, has led to a near-zero uptake of vaccination among our 365 million closest neighbours. And to quote from HER MAJESTY MY QUEEN!!!!!, no less, they’re not just letting themselves down, but EVERYONE ELSE TOO. Because until they all have it, we’re not safe. And I need to go to Germany to see my baby.

Other than that; yeah, everything’s great, thanks for asking.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx