I’m going to see Barbie. Not the doll, the movie. I actually have loads of Barbie dolls, or rather ‘we’ do. Collectively. My daughters’ collection dusted off for Lila and then we ordered online about 75 assorted dresses/shoes/bags/shit from China for £3.95 (p/p included). So we’re stocked. And as such, I feel I have every right to go see the film. I’ve dressed and undressed and re-dressed and beheaded Barbies on and off for 30 years, I’m qualified. Paid my dues. And although its a girlie film, I can get in touch with my inner ‘lusting after Margot Robbie and in no way objectifying her fabulous body’ and my other feminist leanings and just enjoy being one’o’the’gels for the night. So, Monday night, me and Barbie have a date. I wish I had more pink clothes to wear. Do you think Margot might notice if I did????

I also want to see Oppenheimer, the tale of poor Robert who invented the Atom bomb then died. Not from radioactivity but suicide. Its also supposed to be a great movie, but at over 3 hours long…

Firstly Mel has to stay awake that long, itself not an easy thing. Then I have to cope with the aftermath. Because every film we see, however wonderful, however spectacular, however well reviewed, and however short, is summed up thus by my wife: ‘it should have been half an hour shorter’. Possibly 20 minutes (really good film), sometimes 48 minutes (average to poor offering).

The rather odd thing is that ‘pre-covid’, we were at least 3 times a month movie-goers. Then post-plague, its like once every 2 years. Yet I read the reviews and they just don’t seem to excite me. Maybe Covid, as well as removing taste and smell, also worked on film appreciation? Or maybe the movies coming out have all been shit. And then, like the proverbial number 23 buses, you wait 3 years and then 2 come along together. Phah!

The other amazing news is that, having been totally won over by an electric car, I now have an electric bike too. Every home should have one. And this one did indeed sit in my mate’s home for about 3 years on a completely ornamental basis. Never ridden. Other than when I borrowed it for tube strikes. So last weekend, after fraught negotiation, I acquired the bike, so it can sit in my house between tube strikes. Though I do ride it on other occasions, just because it is simply the most fun you can have whilst killing pedestrians. Riding round the pavements (some roads are just too dangerous to consider) at 20mph in a bike that weighs the same as a Boeing 727 is very safe. For the rider. Its everyone else that should worry.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx