So there’s a BA flight from New York. Guy pops into the bathroom before take off to… well, whatever. Looks at the sink area (4 inches x 3, as they always are) and sees hand-wash, sanitiser, hand cream, 2 passports and a Glock 17 automatic pistol. Looks at the passports (I’d have fired the gun, personally, just because) and sees one belongs to David Cameron. Yup, ‘that’ David Cameron. Hands them in, lots of fuss, flight delayed, BA want to turf him, the finder, off the plane, for some reason, gun returned to Cameron’s bodyguard and eventually all is well for departure.

I want to know why the guard put his gun down. Was he holding it in his hand? No, they call them ‘concealed weapons’ for a reason. So you don’t have to walk around waving it in the air. So it was in a holster. They sell them. In gun shops, probably. On his hip? Under his arm? Whatever. People get understandably frightened when they they see a man with a gun, so hide it. So did the guard take the gun out whilst he was… concentrating? In case a terrorist burst into his toilet and he could shoot him? Like, sitting there with some toilet paper in one hand and a Glock in the other? As we all normally do. What are the protocols for armed security people on the bog? They must have guidelines. Rules. Regulations. I wonder if he’d been having sex with Cameron in the toilet, mile high club thing, like that Bodyguard in the tv show did with his PM?

Trump gets acquitted of all possible crimes and misdemeanours by the senate. He was innocent! All along. Never had a doubt, myself. But its good to have it proven in a court of law by a bunch of jurors who owe you their careers and livelihoods, voting you free. No conflict of any interest there.

Or at Spurs. Where another stunning victory was played out last night at the Lane (for want of a better, or more expensive, name). Southampton it the FA cup replay. We were losing, we were losing, we were playing badly, second best, we were still losing, then we were drawing, then we got a penalty and won in the 90th minute. VAR ruled it was a fair call so all the Southampton players and fans were happy with that, and Sonny (bless his little Korean soul, or Seoul?) dispatched the winner.

Underserved. Second best. Playing badly. The best wins of all.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx