The i-phone X is coming out. Sorry; THE I-PHONE X IS COMING OUT!!!! Raise the flag and shout halleluyah. Or at least, buy a few Apple shares. If you can afford 1. Cos its gonna be the biggest thing since the abacus. Since the wheel. Since sticky-backed-plastic. This is gonna be massive. It has to be to justify the 1000 pound price tag. A grand for a phone. You can buy an ipad for 300 quid but the phone is a grand. You ordered it yet?

I haven’t. Having managed to avoid iphones 1-9, or perhaps A-W, I’ll stick with my 27 year-old Nokia with that annoying ringtone. And my Motorola ‘Oyster’. I’m not mean, I’m just… mean.

But iphones are fully legal under EU law. Therefore, come the ‘glorious day’ when we are no longer EU-bound, it will pass seamlessly into British law. That’s the deal. We call it ‘repeal’ but actually its just embracing all those lovely laws and regulations that those Euro-fuckers have forced upon us for 50 years and making them our very own. So we can destroy them, throw them out and use them as part of the Grand Foreign-People Avoidance Plan of 2019. And the best bit of all; we don’t need to put them individually to parliamentary vote. The government, being all-wonderful, faultless and totally trustworthy, can decide for us without bothering all those moaners and whingers who sit on the opposition benches with the minutae of the laws. They can just take the good without the bad. As they see them. These are the so-called Henry VIII laws. Henry invoked massive power to himself because anyone who dared argue with him would be either divorced, outlived or beheaded. And Theresa May wants the same powers over the EU laws. For her government to accept them, reject them or change them as she sees fit without due parliamentary process.

So she can, with a sweep of her pen/ipad, end those pesky Europeans from coming here (leaving our hospitals, corn-fields, restaurants and building sites almost empty, but what the hell), and keep the BMWs rolling in on their superbly oiled bearings all the way from Germany. The initial reading of the repeal bill was read last night and passed. But there is far to go with it. And when ultra-sensible, ultra-Conservative good person Dominic Grieve, the former Attorney General, says his own party are wrong on this massive legal issue, ya gotta think they’re wrong.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx