Winning isn’t everything, as they say. But losing isn’t anything. So its a fitting time for me to once again talk about football, embrace every sports page, every moronic, dickhead pundit, even Alan Shearer!!!, and wallow in the reflected glory of my football team. There’ll be no automatic deleting of Match of the Day 2 this week. This is a keeper.

Because my team was magnificent. To a man. A superb display of mastery and magnificence, marred only by Manchester United, who kept getting in our way, but not in any meaningful way. They were abysmal in every way. Directionless. Unmotivated. If Ten Haag thought his position precarious after that defeat, the kiss of death came afterwards when the United board pledged to ‘stand by their manager’. A footballing (and political) euphemism for ‘you’re dead!’

Spurs scored possibly my favourite goal of the last decade. Because it was created entirely by the wonderful opportunism and incredible speed of our centre back, Micky Van der Ven. He’s too big to barge off the ball and too quick to catch. So he ran three quarters of the pitch to the far touch line to present Brennan Johnson with a tap-in. Ok, he still had to tap it, something which many strikers find difficult, but tap in he did. That goal earned Micky the man of the match award, and made me a very happy man.

Bruno Fernandes, the United captain, is not a dirty player. Even though he’s Portuguese. There’s no question that the tackle with which he attacked James Maddison was a bad one. Appearing much worse because at the denouement he lost his balance and fell further into Mads. Which the VAR (morons?, imbeciles?) people watched in slo-mo and agreed it warranted a red card. At full speed its a wonderful, scything sweep-kick, like we do in martial arts, if we’re feeling particularly energetic and in need of a visit to the physio. “It was only a kick with his heel”, said the pundit. Heels are hard. Much harder than toes.

We scored two more, we bossed, we strutted, we kept a clean sheet, FFS! That never happens. Could have been 7. Should have been 10. But 3 was enough.

Most telling of all about the current state of Manchester United were the words of Gary Neville. The world’s most devoted fan of the club. Yet he sounded like he was actually rooting for Spurs. He’d completely ‘given up’. As had his team. Which would have been sad, even tragic, to watch. If they hadn’t been playing Spurs. So it became a more measured, dignified: “FREE POINTS AND YOU WOZ FUCKING UUUUUUUUSELISSSSSS!!!!”

Very happy Monday (head held high as I bought my morning coffee, and they all hid from the smugness I simply exuded from every pore)

A xxxx

PS problems with the image posting today. Apols. Its such a good one I’ll send when I can.