It’s comin’. The General Election that ‘everyone’ wants. Everyone needs. Everyone’s gagging for, chewing the bit, climbing the walls, simply MAD for. Its here. The Tories are desperate for it, because they need the majority in the House that they don’t currently enjoy. Labour would bite your arm off for it because its now time to ‘save Britain’ from its current path down the horrendous road to economic success and a buoyant market. The Lib Dems have their own agenda totally but that’s never stopped them before, from losing 50 seats for every one they win. The Scottish Nationalists want an independent Scotland so that it can be… so it can… increase its… its very Scottishness which its not currently allowed to do. Bit like winning rugby matches. And the DUP just want another minority government, any will do, so they can trouser another 2 billion quid for ‘support’ that they refuse to give on the grounds that its unGodly. As is homosexuality and the right to choose an abortion. So that leaves the Greens, who think that ‘now is their time’ and have appointed Greta Thundberg as ‘annoying person in chief’ because she’s not British so can’t stand for parliament here. Thank God.

The Tories will promise to TAKE US OUT OF EUROPE BY **/**/****, NO IFFS OR BUTTS OR I’M DEAD IN A DITCH!!!!! Oh, done that, been there. Well then another massively unattainable yet not very far reaching slogan will be constructed by tomorrow instead. Order your t-shirt now.

Labour don’t really want an election because Corbyn can’t win one. He now realises this too and therefore is making what surely must be his last attempt at ‘the country’ before he retires to Highgate Cemetery with other notable Marx(ists). Corbyn’s days as party leader are seriously numbered so its do or die time for Jezza and he’s polishing up all his placards and banners for the election, having his duffel coat dry-cleaned and getting a new hammer-and-sickle badge for his beret.

Interestingly, the Lib Dems have carved themselves a little niche as The Remain party and have actually said they’ll put us back in Europe if (pigs fly, or-) they win the election. So they’ve immediately lost 52% of the vote before we’ve even started. Which is pretty much how it should be.

It’s so exciting I could almost… nearly… possibly… take a nap.

Bit late today as I had to take Lila to University this morning. This was us leaving ‘for work’.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx