Today is the ‘North-London-derby’, a match so unique, so revered, so… special that it warrants more column inches, or even centimetres, of prattle, speculation, hypothesising, naval-gazing and ranting than all the other football matches played in the world, combined!!! It is also the match which, for most Spurs fans, defines the sentiment that ‘we can live with disappointment, it’s the hope that kills’, and is the uncontested benchmark for any football season. Any why is it such a ‘big deal’? Even when, quite often, neither team has any ‘top’ aspirations, both are playing ok, or playing shit, or mid-table, even then, it becomes so much more than the sum of its parts.

There are other ‘rivalries’. Apparently they have one in Glasgow, but it’s driven by religious sectarianism and historical hatred. Ours is just about football. There’s the ‘Manchester derby’ when United go to City with a massive list of their almost incomparable successes from yesteryear and get humiliated and embarrassed by the team of this year. Liverpool have a lop-sided ‘rivalry’ with City-mates Everton, but rivalry? Really???

I’ve been to lots of Spurs Arsenal matches. I still bear the scars from most. And only really remember the good ones. Or the totally horrible ones (3-nil up and lose 5-3!!!!). I was at the Emirates for perhaps the most spectacular one; when total loser and no-hoper David Bentley performed the one single act in his entire Spurs career which entered him into the ‘legends’ by hitting a 40 yard wonderstrike past Almunia to give us the lead. Which soon turned into a 4-1 disadvantage that somehow, amazingly, incredibly, and best of all, undeservedly, ended up 4-4.

And the fixture always fills me with dread. Not with the fear of not slipping down the league table but of the total hell I’ll receive from all the Arsenal fans I know. And loads that I never knew I knew but somehow emerge from the depths at such times. But worst of all is those who are ‘sympathetic’, and then spend 3 hours explaining the wondrous evolution of Arsenal whilst poor Spurs have languished in the manager-turnaround circus leading to extinction. PATRONISING FUCKERS.

Yet with all that has happened before, and knowing the terrible price of unrealistic expectations; I can’t help but be positive about this afternoon. I may even come out from behind the couch. For bits of it anyway. But it’s because today’s match is different. Today, according to every single newspaper, it is Arsenal vs Postecoglou. And I’m happy with that.

GOD HELP MEEEEEE.

A xxxx