For anyone born post-1945, today represents the greatest disaster that has ever darkened our entire, sad-and-sorry lives. Today is doomsday. Armageddon. The beginning of the end. Judgment Day. However, you can only get too upset by it. Because its so utterly typical. Putin? No, nothing to do with him, but Spurs. Losing last night at Burnley. How is that even possible after Saturday’s monstrously amazing win at Man City? How do you beat the top team and lose pathetically to the bottom one? My life will never be the same again. Until Saturday… possibly Sunday.

It’s quite a common thing to hear, ‘my child/grandchild is so bright they’ll be prime minister one day!’, though with the current PM that has now become a term of abuse and insult. But you don’t need to spend too long with ‘my’ Joey to realise that he has the potential to become the President!. Unfortunately, it would be President Putin. Because although Joey hasn’t invaded Ukraine with full-on artillery this morning, there’s no doubt he would, if he could just comprehend what ‘Ukraine’ means. He fully understands the ‘attacking and invading’ bit. Totally. Yet, the similarities run much deeper between Russia’s greatest dictator since Stalin and my little nearly-3 year old wonder boy. Mainly, stubbornness verging on total intransigence. No give. No yield. No compromise. No NOTHING!!!

Putin decided to ‘take Ukraine back’ into the Russian fold, and there is nothing anyone can say or do to stop him. And there isn’t much they can actually do without attacking him. And for all the bluster and bravado uttered by the totally spineless world leaders, they know that Putin don’t bluff. Neither does Joey.

I realise that a total rejection of both shoes and coat when going out, in a buggy, in the freezing cold and pouring rain is not quite the same as what is normally considered ‘a declaration of war’, but its delivered with the same degree of absolute certainty and unarguable and logic-defying finality that you just know that my gorgeous little boy is perhaps just 30 years from becoming the Full Putin.

Assuming the world has 30 years left. David Bowie sang ‘we have 5 years left to die in’ and that may have been prophetic. Or may just have been that nothing else rhymed, I love the song either way. But this is serious shit. And taking away Putin’s pocket money will not resolve anything. We nuke up or we shut up. Because we know with absolute certainty that he would. And so would Joey.

Happy Day 1 of the War

A xxxx