Well look, we knew war was coming, right? The world has been boiling over for years now. Putin’s little intimidations, Trump’s invasions and attacking other nations, ‘for peace’, Ukraine, Gaza, obviously Iran; its all reached boiling point this weekend. We’ve reached our ‘Sarajevo moment’. Not by shooting anyone; that’s soooo 20th century. This time its tariffs.

We’re going to war against America. Over Greenland. There’s nothing subtle about the US President. He wants Greenland. Allegedly for the strategic purposes which he pretty much already has; given carte blanche by Greenland and Denmark to ‘knock yourself out building as many military bases as ya like’. But he’s not so interested in countries, however ‘strategic’, which aren’t bursting at the seams with untapped resources. So he wants to ‘own’ Greenland. Buy it, steal it, makes no difference to him.

Europe (including Britain, for historical reasons) said that he can’t just ‘take’ an independent country. Well, not perfectly independent because its owned by Denmark, but the people living there, in igloos, fishing in ice holes, fighting polar bears, kind’a people, should at least get some kind of vote? Or at least be given some beads and fire-water. The Yanks have a history of such ‘negotiations’ with indigenous peoples. Europe got really ‘strong’. And the master of strong words is Le trumped-up (no relation) little shit, Macron. Even Kier Starmer wrenched himself off his perpetual fence to offer his ‘slight difficulty’ with the idea of America invading an allied nation. Germany, Italy, they all shouted out in indignation. But shouted ‘quietly’ as you have to do when dealing with a 79 year-old baby.

But the baby got upset, threw his toys out of the pram and put Europe’s tariffs up by 15%. Oh no, another tariff war. Just when we all getting best-pally again.

Iran’s in a state. Iran is state. An Islamic one. Too Islamic for most of the people living there. The ones getting murdered in their thousands, presumably in the name of Islam, if you look at it logically. And accept the illogicality of that. But they Ayatollah is awaiting attack, any day now, from either Trump, or from Israel.

To be honest, either would do for me. Iran has had the biggest destabilising effect on the entire middle east for too long. Funding its horrible terrorist proxies.

And here’s the great thing. You’ll never meet a horrible Iranian. Over here, in London. They’re all fabulous. Which is why they’re here. These are the normal people. The ones who just want to have the freedom to listen to pop music if they please. Who want to wear something other than a headscarf when they go down the pub. These are the greatest anti-Ayatollahs in the world. And we support them. Even when they block half the Finchley Road for 2 hours with their protest yesterday. I just waved and smiled and wished them luck.

My bags are packed, gas mask ready, my Lee-Enfield rifle oiled up, I’ve filled up the Sopwith Camel and I’m ready for the fight. Just tell me where.

Happy Monday

A xxxx