WE ARE OUT!!!!

We are no longer part of ‘Europe’. We are now applying to become the world’s smallest independent continent, on its own, and nothing whatsoever to do with those smelly garlic eating nations which just happen, by mere quirk of geography, to be much nearer to where I live than is Glasgow.

The obvious irony, the final blow, the coup de gras, is that to extricate ourselves from those foreign nations, we basically need to overcome 17 miles of red tape and 2 years of negotiations and essentially, we need to get permission from the EU to leave.

Then we can move on. Assuming by that point that the pound is worth more than half a Euro, or a US quarter.

And the first thing we need to do, once Article 50 of the Lisbon Convention (nothing even vaguely bureaucratic about that very title, is there?) is get rid of all the French. Well, the men at least. Turf ’em out. Send ’em back. There’s too many here and they contribute nothing more than a silly accent and a nasty attitude and we’ve got the Scots for that. Who will probably leave the UK to join the Germans anyway.

But here’s a first: this is LIVE (well, it was when I wrote it); David Cameron has announced his resignation. Holy shi-i-i-i-ttt. Had to happen. He picked the wrong side and his position became impossible. He’s out by October.

The magnitude of the result was interesting. 48% to 52%. An exact reflection of the actual feeling in most people’s minds. I was actually 52% stay and 48% leave but I’m a Londoner. We were innies. We’re good at… errr… staying in things. Hmmm.

This is a very exciting time in UK politics. Unlike the pre-referendum shit which got very boring and stupid very quickly. Oddly the most profound move in the entire campaign was Nigel Farage’s ‘faux pas’ just last weekend. When he adorned a bus with a picture of a boatload of Libyan refugees landing in Slovakia. (Don’t quote me on the exact locations there, but you know the picture). Because although it was a morally repellant thing to do, a terrible image that was irrelevant, for many people it showed their worst inner fears. Brought out their latent xenophobe.

I voted in, I can keep my moral high ground whatever the fuck happens next.

Wacky Friday

A xxxx