There’s a great line in the old Country classic, ‘stand by your man’, in which Tammy Wynette shrieks (she always shrieks), that you have to forgive him, ignore his failings, give him a blanket pass, ‘cos, after all, he’s just a ma-an’. He’s just a man. So what can you expect? He’s just a man. A simple sentence loaded with prejudice, preconceptions and stereotype. If a song had the line ‘well, she’s just a woman’ it would be banned. Sexist. Discriminatory. The Sistahood would be up in arms. You can’t say: ‘well, she’s just a woman’ in mitigation; its not allowed. Even if the engine’s just blown up in her car (oh, is that what that little red light saying NO OIL!!!!!!’ meant?) or recorded Celebrity Come Dancing instead of The Greatest Champions League Goals, because she hit the wrong button. Never mind.

Never mind??? Yes, mind!

And now Andy Puddicombe has crossed another line. A very contentious one. Because he’s written a book on coping with pregnancy. By using ‘mindfulness’. Or ‘headspace’ as he has termed his catchphrase in previous books on the merits of sitting cross-legged for an hour to defy everything from anger to cancer, from anxiety to a 17-inch gash on your thigh. He’s one’a them. Which is great, because we need self-help meditatory gurus like we need more sugar in our diets.

And all this whilst the Women’s World Cup is being played. So its relevant really. If women can claim a stake in the last bastion of masculinity, ie football, then men have every right to tell them how to be pregnant.

Why shouldn’t we? We know loads about pregnancy. Particularly the ‘how to get there’ bit. After that, ok, it is a bit blurred for most of us, though there’s lots of throwing up and moaning and requiring sympathy when the cricket’s just entered a critical phase. So its only logical that a man should tell women how to ‘cope’ with the mental, emotional and physical distresses that pregnancy can instil.

Which I have no problem with, in principle. Pregnancy is an understood concept. It can be expressed in flow charts and timelines and thus can be addressed in a scientific manner, by either man or woman. Its not like women can claim exclusive rights to being pregnant. Oh, ok, they can then. But men can still help them. Mainly by giving them small tasks to distract them from their discomfort. Making cups of tea can be very therapeutic; washing up and making beds is gentle exercise as required by mother-to-be and baby. Even cleaning the car can have benefits in the pre-natals.

So don’t tell me that a trumped up little shit of a new age tree hugger can’t tell women exactly what they’re feeling during pregnancy. Sexism works both ways, you know??

Happy non-gender-bias Monday

A xxxx