It’s not easy spending your life gorgeously. In fact it is downright difficult and most of the time, filled with discomfort and embarrassment. Because being blessed with the kind of face which Michelangelo would have sculpted, the body of an Adonis, a six-pack riding proudly where, if there were any kind of God, a great, fat, chocolate-filled beer belly would sit, buns of steel and legs of such curvaceousness that women swoon and feint as they pass the tennis courts yelling ‘phwoaoaoaoarrrrr!’, is not all its cracked up to be. Because I’ve spent my life being objectified. Ogled. Groped (if only). Harassed.

And I want to shout at these women (yes, it’s ALWAYS women… mostly) “But that’s not ‘me!’, that’s not WHO I am, that’s just an exterior!!!” I want to tell them that underneath all that meaningless awesome perfection lies a dull and listless halfwit. A man!! With thoughts, though obviously not many, with ideas, mainly bad ones, with emotions, of a vague and empty, manly kind, and with feeeeeeeelings! I AM NOT JUST AN OBJECT OF PERFECTION!!! I AM A PERSON!!! And as such I wish to be engaged, first and foremost in such a manner. With no shouting as I walk by, no cat-calling (dog-calling?), no ‘accidental’ bumping at the bar, no revisiting the old ‘no taxation without representation’ line and replacing it with ‘no job promotion without fornication’, because it’s WRONG to treat a man in such a way. And we’ve put up with it for too long. Turned the other cheek, only to find it being pinched by some Amazon in Louboutins grinning lasciviously over her G-and-(low-cal)-T.

The problem is that I like looking gorgeous. Sometimes I even accentuate that gorgeousness in ways that some might perceive as almost enticing! That I’m actually looking to attract women!!!! When really I’m just wearing tight shorts and a crop top because it empowers me. Though I do try to avoid Piccadilly Circus when kitted up like that.

So following decades of such misery, I’m appealing for historic sex crimes against me to be taken seriously and I’m going to issue of list of perpetrators, going back at least 40 years… in fact it then stopped 35 years ago, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT. It happened, it changed me and I want the law to take this matter up and… and… remove all these people’s films from tv, sack them from their cabinet posts, take away those dame-hoods and ladyships.

#me-he!

Just sayin’…

Happy Sunday

A xxxx