Pep Guardiola, Manchester City’s outrageously expensive manager, took his lacklustre bunch of under-performing but over-payed fading stars to the cinema yesterday afternoon. To see LaLaLand. The Abu Dhabi budget could stretch to a few seats at the local Odeon. So I went to see it last night too. Only to see what effect the movie might have had on Manchester City because they play Spurs on the weekend. In the biggest game of the season (part 17). Otherwise, obviously, I’d have gone and seen something more manly. With guns, aliens, tanks, death, Trump, sinister…

And the City players saw a gloriously vibrant and glossy and bright film about striving for your dreams. Which, in the absence of subtitles in 12 different languages (assuming they can all read to a degree) would have been mainly lost on the international mish-mash of non-Anglophones. But all was not lost, the movie is exceptionally visual. And musical. International things.

Ryan Gosling is everyone’s favourite Canadian. Though most would be hard-pushed to name another, other than Mark Carney and several Trudeuax. He’s not my favourite Canuck because Mel was born in Vancouver, even though she sounds more Yorkshire than Klondike. And we have the Torontonians to consider when we talk ‘favourite’. Anyway…

I like Ryan Gos. He’s funny and cool and learned to play jazz piano for the part. And it is exceptionally impressive. He sings. Not well, but well enough and it all seems very ‘real’ for a movie in which traffic jams are the cue for massive song-and-dance numbers.

Emma Stone is odd. She looks odd. And alternates between totally gorgeous and ‘nyah’. But she has more true star quality in front of a camera than any other actor currently out there. Certainly more than the entire Manchester City team combined. She mesmerises, she simmers, she lisps, but she is just wonderful in this, as in The Help, as in Birdman. She has that innate Gene Hackman (blessed be) quality of capturing all the light in the room and becoming the only person you see.

There is (hateful, overused word alert!!!) ‘chemistry’ between the stars. Unquestionable. If they weren’t shagging each other between sets they really should have been. Two great actors being totally credible and realistic in a fucking musical. Takes a bit of doing.

Did I like the film? Yeah, I liked it a lot. Did I love the film?? No, not really. Did it live up to the hype? Do they ever? Would it look better with Spanish sub-titles? Hmmm…

Most importantly would it have inspired Man City for the weekend? Oh Gawd I hope not. Let them be shit, just one more time.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx