Boris Johnson doesn’t play tennis. He thinks he does, in those ridiculous pink floral shorts, but he doesn’t. He’s as ‘sporty’ as a kilo of extra-mature cheddar. To play tennis you have to look like Roger Federer. Or like me. You have to have grace, elegance, a tennis racquet, style, a winning serve and a winning smile. Boris fails on all but the racquet. Slouching around like Igor in a Frankenstein movie. Though at least Igor could manage to keep his shirt tucked in.

To be Prime Minister you need none of the above.Which is good news for Boris, shurely our next PM, shuuuurely? The mere fact that he hasn’t shot himself in the foot during the leadership hustings with some almost-Islamophobic rant or diplomatic faux pas means he’ll probably breeze right in, in 2 weeks time when the results come in. And Boris will win not because he’s in any way ‘better’ than Jeremy Hunt, but purely on the grounds that he’ll (hopefully, probably, possibly) be able to beat Corbyn or whoever in the next general election.

Oddly, Boris has come out against Sir Kim Darroch for calling Trump ‘inept’. Which is itself a bit odd as Boris himself said similar things about the POTUS implying, if not actually stating, the ‘tosser’ status of the great man. Hunt is supportive of the Ambassador in Washington and has offered ‘strong words’ against Trump’s tirade against Theresa May. Who, other than putting the Ambassador there, has very little to do with that or anything else any longer.

But that’s Trump. Like a scolded child he has to retaliate. And against anyone. In Trumpworld one Brit’s the same as the next, right? So pick on Theresa and use Brexit as the medium of your displeasure because Brexit is the universal shit-storm of which every single member of parliament is in some way guilty.

Boris ‘will take us out of Europe on 31st October’, deal or no deal!!! How he’ll do that I have no idea because leaving is subject to parliamentary approval and getting that for the ‘no deal’ scenario, with Labour now actually unified against it and with a parliamentary majority of about 3, and that’s with the Irish, less at least half a dozen Tories pledged to vote against such a thing… well, you do the maths. But Boris is high on ‘optimism’ (his word), possibly low on realism. Probably ‘cloud-fucking-cuckoo-landism’ (my word) and feels ‘confident’. Just like Theresa May felt every time she went to Europe or put her ‘deal’ before parliament.

I don’t care who runs the country, long as its not Corbyn. But my personal preference would in fact be Roger Federer.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx