360,000 people signed a petition yesterday to keep Donald Trump out of Britain. Ban him. Unwanted. Hate figure spouting xenophobic rubbish. I think we should invite him to come over and do his hilarious stand-up routine at the Apollo. The man’s really really funny. Why deprive ourselves of that blond bird’s nest just because he’s a nit-wit who doesn’t know what’s going on in the world?

And if being stupid was an automatic exit from politics, why is Jeremy Corbyn still in a job? At the Labour Christmas Party this week he didn’t wish all gathered Happy Christmas, just a Happy New Year. He doesn’t do religion. No communists do. Opiates of the masses, and all that. So instead he quoted Enver Hoxha, the Albanian communist leader (who murdered 25,000 Albanians), saying: ‘this year will be tougher than last year’. Very encouraging as apparently the tables at the party were divided into the Corbynistas and ‘the rest’ in very strict order, with virtually no contact between the two.

So, after John McDonnell quoted from Chairman Mao’s little red book, Corbyn from Enver Hoxha, we have to ask if some sort of pattern is emerging? Do they only quote from communist leaders? Or do they only quote from genocidal maniacs? If the former then expect tracts from Das Kapital very soon. If the latter then maybe some right wing dictators might get a mention too. Hitler maybe. Bit’a Mein Kampf.

To be a communist in 1925 was one thing. It was an ideal. A vision. A plan for a better, fairer society. The ultimate democracy filled with equal people all running round helping each other, not for money (as we do today) but for love and for the good of the collective. Ahhhhhhh. Nice.

But 90 years later we kind’a know a lot more about the practicalities of communism-at-work and, in a nutshell, it doesn’t. Because someone has to be in charge or it doesn’t work. Even if its a committee. From happy clappy to the KGB torture chambers and ‘justice’ (with a pick-axe handle) without trials takes about 2 years. Communism should have had a flow, natural, easy, comfortable. It should never have needed to be paranoid, defensive and pre-emptively aggressive to the comrades. Equality never looked so unequal as entire nations lived (or in the case of China, still live) in constant fear and with no higher authority that they can ever appeal to. A dictatorship is a dictatorship, whatever ‘colour’ it claims to be. Was Stalin any different to Hitler?

Yet this is what Corbyn and McDonnell want. Where exactly their love of the IRA, of Hezbollah, probably of ISIS comes from, even I can’t fit in. And I’m weird. Though perhaps modern weird, rather than living-in-1925 weird.

Never mind, at least Arsenal won. If that makes you happy.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx