It doesn’t feel like the first day of the new football season. It feels like the Olympics. I can’t think about Mezut Ozil when Jess Ennis is on the other channel. In fact I can think of nothing else whilst Jess Ennis is around, generally. But now I need to focus. Because it starts today.

So forget Jihadi brides from Bethnal Green getting killed in IS-land (what the fuck did she expect when she went to war?) and forget rail strikes, at least til Monday morning, and forget the cricket. Its all irrelevant. I’ve already forgotten Donald Trump as irrelevant, because he doesn’t play for Leicester.

The football is back and it must be obeyed, revered and given the total focus and respect that it probably doesn’t deserve but will get anyway.

This is my favourite time of the year. 3 hours before the first ball is kicked. The potential is limitless. Anything can happen. To any team, by any team, in any host of the billions of probabilities and contingencies that will unfold in the following months. (Deep. Fucking deep.)

Spurs can win the league.
Leicester can win the league.
Arsenal can get relegated.
Manchester City can go bankrupt.
The financial fair play might actually be enforced.
Hull might get a manager.
Jose Morinho might explode.

5 minutes after kick off it’ll become a little more transparent. Although it generally takes a few weeks for teams to settle in and for any patterns to emerge.

After the usual insanity of the summer transfers and new managerial appointments, its show-time.

Everyone wants to win the league (please note; there’s only ONE league, the rest don’t count). But only one team can. Doh. And we have seven teams vying for that, realistically. Although as Leicester showed last year; there’s room now and again for a bit of the positively surreal.

So we have to consider Leicester as contenders. Even though there’s more chance of me winning a gold medal in the women’s gymnastics than of them winning the league again.

Manchester City have their new, very expensive manager, and loads of multi-squillionaire new signings. Manchester United have Jose and now Paul Pogba, on 300 grand a week, and yet no Champions League. Chelsea are horrible. New manager or not. John Terry or not. Horrible. Arsenal are still Arsenal and will be for the foreseeable future. So they’ll come 4th. Liverpool are still living on memories of the 70s even though their manager is good fun. And Spurs. Ahhhhh, Spurs. New players, best manager in the league, nicest fans (by some way) and Champions League football. Can we win the league? Can we finish above Arsenal??

Answer the second question first.

Happy Football Season. If only.

A xxxx