No one died
the world survived
the trees are still there
the weather’s even quite fair.
Its only football.

Children still happy
politicians still crappy
same sights as old
jolly tales being told
Its only football.

Goods are still being trucked
the economy’s still fucked
In Iran we may trust
(as it all turns to dust)
Its only football.

Dentists still fillin’
Syrians still killin’
the trains are still working
Mylie’s still twerking
Its only football.

Clooney and I still full of style
Aussie cricketers still bloody vile
British troops still full of valour
Blue is still the warmest colour
ITS ONLY BLOODY FOOTBALL.

But six goals to nil
its not close to being a thrill
its desperate and dire as I try
my utmost not to just cry

Its over its done its finished and dead
the thing we feared with anxiety and dread
the living proof, the fact of life
as I said to my long-suffering (and not that interested) wife

We are just shite, pure and simple, that’s what we are
in fact in levels of shite we’ve raised the sodding bar
the season is over, aspirations denied
we looked like we never even tried

I’m not a big fan of Manchester City
preferred it when upon them we used to take pity
they’re northern and ugly and richer than God
mercenary scum with sexuality quite odd

Yet they played in a completely different class
and a right royal pain in the bloody ass
the humiliation, the horror, the sadness, the woe
We couldn’t even get near to that foe

But when you align your mood to the team you support
you get what you’re given, which can be quite fraught
Yet you cannot change, the emotion’s not there
So you try to convince yourself you ‘really don’t care’

You have family and friends, good health, a nice house
does it matter your team play like mickey mouse?
‘Its only football’, a game, a sport, it really doesn’t matter
(that fucking result! my hearth doth shatter)

Yet the season’s still young, time to get it together
if we just beat whoever, never mind the weather
Spurs can come good, just a matter of time
I only wish ‘FUCK! SHIT! PISS! WANK!’ was a better little rhyme.

Happy monday… if only

Depressed of NW11
xxxx