I just love football. All that rubbish and complaining and misery I’ve been talking about lately has suddenly been put into the perspective of ‘historical blip’ as we sauntered to a stunning win yesterday at White Hart Lane, showing we now have a pretty good chance of winning the league. As long as certain events take place. Like the mass murder of the entire Liverpool team, including the reserves. The whole Arsenal team to be put immediately onto the sex offenders register and thus banned from the team. And in a terrible act of terrorism, a bomb lands on the Etihad one day when everyone’s there, except Pep Guardiola, who immediately signs a 5 year deal with Spurs.

Not sayin’ all that’s going to happen (God forbid!!!!?) but it could. And then we’d brush aside these ‘arrivistes’ like Brighton and Bonemouth and Northampton Forrest or whatever they’re called and CLAIM OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE!!!!

Well, we didn’t just ‘win a match’ yesterday, we beat… (drum roll)…Manchester United!!
WHAAAAATTT???? MANCHESTER UNITED??? THEY’RE THE BIGGEST TEAM IN THE ENTIRE WOOOORRRRLLLLDDD!!!!!

Well, they were. Once. Long time ago. Now they too have succumbed to Relegation-Fodderitis. Its a disease which affects teams, particularly those with any kind of glorious past, however (fucking) distant that past may be, and turn them into a team of no-hope, headless-chickenesque losers. There’s sadly no cure for this disease, just a temporary fix. A ‘sticking plaster’. Which is the immediate application of Sam Allardyce for at least 3 months. Though this comes with a serious side-effect, as all medications do, of ruining any kind of stylish football, and turning the ‘beautiful game’ temporarily very ugly and pragmatic. It appears, to all intents and purposes, that your entire team has been re-born into the Italian league. Its that bad. Yet, to stay in the top flight is so essential that no sacrifice is too great.

In the battle of the clueless, we ‘thrashed’ them, 1-nil. We created soooooooo many chances which… we chose not to take. For various reasons. None of them relating to abject incompetence or horrendous profligacy. How dare you!?!

But it feel sweet. A home win. A clean sheet. Ahhhhhh, I’m living the (slightly deluded) dream. And lovin’ it.

Happy Monday

A xxxx