They’re funny things, children. Especially babies. They don’t say much that you’d wanna repeat but they do lots. Most of which is blatantly destructive, but all of which is really funny. Odd. Bizarre. Illogical. But they do it with such a charm, such wonderful total innocence that even Mel can’t get upset that the entire fucking house is totally trashed within 10 minutes of Lila’s arrival. The Who in 1971, high as kites and in full Keith Moon insanity mode, couldn’t have been more destructive.

And you get babies ‘toys’ and ‘games’ and traditionally, they’re more interested in the wrapping paper and delivery boxes than they are in the games and toys themselves. Because they just like ‘things’ and are pretty indiscriminate about them.

Last weekend we went to the loft and retrieved The Toy. The killer game that every child loves. It was adored when our girls were babes and all who visited became obsessed with it. The Fisher Price ‘kitchen’. Its big, colourful, got lots of doors and pots and pans and food and toasters and blenders and all safe and blue and pink and yellow and plastic and safe. And we presented it to Lila. The kitchen and the box of about 2,000 ‘things’ to throw, play with and chew. And she left it after about 30 seconds and hoisted herself up by the drawer in the (real) kitchen that she knows is full of plastic containers. Because every synapse in her lovely little body craves disorder; its instinctive. And, it must be said, is possibly part of her genetic inheritance from her grandfather. So she systematically examines every single tupperware thing, every lid, every carton, jar and item, chews it then throws it onto the floor to pick up the next exciting… thing. She is yet to master the physics of sliding drawers and little fingers but she’ll learn. We all do. Even Stephen Hawking had to start somewhere.

Everyone’s ganging up on the Russians now, as expected if ya go round administering illegal toxic weapons of mass destruction in quaint and sleepy little English country towns. Everyone except Jeremy Corbyn and the French. Can’t see the connection but the French want more proof and Corbyn is somehow blaming cuts in the diplomatic service budget ‘BY THE TORIES!!!’ for the whole episode. And because of OUR PAST ISSUES WITH W.M.Ds and their incorrect assessment. Even his own party now find him an embarrassment, a dick-head and a throw-back. And those three adjectives are actually the best 3 things about our esteemed leader of the opposition. From there, its downhill all the way.

Happy LilaDay

A xxxx