The thing about football is: you have to know your limitations. As in life.

Eddie Howe, the Bournemouth manager is well aware of those of his team. So, being an astute and clever guy (heard him talk? he actually speaks English. In sentences wot is gramatical proper) he sets his team and tactics to minimise their limitations (no superstars, no player worth more than 250 quid, small squad) and maximise their qualities (amazing enthusiasm, relentless determination, never-say-die attitude and give their lives for the club). So they score from set pieces. As they did yesterday against Man United. Twice. With stunning effect. The Man United team is worth, collectively, (making this up completely) £476,284,103.67p. The Bournemouth squad: £82.90. The kit cost more than the team.

But Louis Van Gaal does not know his team’s limitations. Mainly because, deluded twit that he is, he doesn’t believe they have any. Which is why he is still insisting that his team can win the league. Even though recent evidence would indeed tend to indicate otherwise. In fact on recent performances United will be lucky to avoid relegation. They haven’t won in 5 games. You can’t win the league like that. Not because there aren’t sufficient points left from games to play that if you won every game you would indeed win the title, but because you’re simply very very unlikely to suddenly change your fortune. Some would say its impossible. And its so stupid that it could have come straight from the Jose Morinho book of Stupidity, Excuses and Failure to Accept Reality (Penguin, £3.99).

Ok maybe not ‘impossible’ because I once read an American book which banned me from ever using that word. In America there are no limitations. Other than Donald Trump, obviously, limited by his own hairstyle.

Alas, when the shit hits the fan, as it has at Chelsea, and (hopefully) is still hitting it, and at Manchester United, the job becomes one of ‘staying employed’ for the manager. And unfortunately, when you assemble a virtual ‘Supergroup’ of magnificently talented individuals, you’re buying a skill set, not loyalty. These players will simply fuck off when the going gets tough. Your Bournemouth players will be there on the 38th game giving their all, whatever the game. The United players, should some kind of victory not be forthcoming, or Euro qualification not happening, will already have their scummy, parasitical agents scanning the Oligarch’s handbook, and the Emirates Rich-List, for new teams for their stars in which they can underperform for £300 grand a week and leave when it gets tough.

Spurs seem remarkably happy, content and lovely at the moment. Not a place we often occupy. We won’t win the league, possibly won’t end in the top 4, but I like the team, love the manager and enjoy what we’re doing and the way we’re doing it.

I know my limitations. And there are many.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx