So it was Lila-day and everything was… was Lila. The entire day revolves around this tiny little two-and-a-half (almost) year old bundle of manic enthusiasm. It is brilliant, it is endlessly funny and it is totally exhausting. And we have a rule in our house, as far as Lila is concerned, which is this: THERE ARE NO RULES. Ok, there are a few boundaries, but I think they’re more to control me than Lila. Because we love Lila exploring and undoing and digging around. Kids are naturally inquisitive and that’s gotta be good. Right?

So we were having lunch and Lila picked up my phone which was sitting on the table. It lives in a case. Little leather one. Blue. And YES I know phone covers are tacky and a bit eeeuuuuwww and no-one born since 1990 would ever use one other than in irony. But I’m a klutz. It’s natural. No lessons, no sessions with a professional, I’m just blessed with the ability to break/drop/destroy virtually anything. You can’t teach that. So a phone cover is essential. And I don’t have a wallet, because they’re sissy, girly- sorry, because I would loose it along with all my worldly possessions kept therein, on a weekly basis, plus; they’re bulky and bothersome and I hate encumbrance. So I keep the 2 credit cards which I most use in my phone case. Always have my phone, always need to have a card (Amex; hence-)or two with me, so that’s where they live. Tucked inside where they can’t fall out. Like the last card did.

But little fingers love to explore. I actually remember (vaguely) seeing those little fingers tinkering in the phone case but thought no more of it. Until I went to get my card out much later. And it was DON!!!

Not ‘gone’ because this was definitely Lila and she says ‘don’. Both cards, AWOL. Holy shit. We searched, we ripped everything apart, we did all those fruitless and futile things you do when trying to think inside a two-and-a-half year old’s head but effectively, you are denied access to such a place. Have been for 61 years now.

So I phoned Virgin to get a new one. And failed fucking security. How can I? When I am definitely and unambiguously ME. I passed sufficiently to cancel the old card but not to get a new one. So I called again, logging in online first to have sufficient information to prove my worthiness, and was told a new card would be here in 7-10 days.

Then I called Amex. And after just two minutes chat to the most pleasantly nice person ever I was told my new card would be here Monday.

It’s the little things. That both cause the trouble and sort it out far less traumatically. I love Amex. Perfect company for serial losers/destroyers/misplacers of cards.

Happy Friday

A xxxx