I think its time to lock the country down. The new variants have impacted massively on the country, on the NHS, on the very fabric of our lives. Quite like the old variants, or ‘the original’ (hard to become nostalgic about a virus) as it will be known, but more… variable.

And we need to start with football. Shut it down. Stop it. End the season. BUT, and here’s the key bit for the health and safety of the ENTIRE FUCKING NATION, we need to backdate that season’s end by four weeks. Which was BEFORE the new corona-variant took hold. And, coincidentally, when Spurs were top of the league. So the season ended, officially, on November 29th. That’s it. Where’s the trophy?

Other than that… possible? scenario, Spurs have gone, in two long weeks, from top of the tree, down to 8th and are now resting, rather uncomfortably, in 6th place, amid the melee of wannabe teams vying for some kind of glory. Which, by rights, is OURS.

Our season didn’t degenerate to shit yesterday evening. It’s been a work in progress. And really, the only people to blame are Harry Kane and Son Heung-min.

Because when those two are are on song, no-one can stop them. We can deploy the Morinho-method. Which is the famed 9-1 formation. Nine at the back, one of which is allowed to ‘break’ so the ‘1’ has someone to play with. And if the ‘breaker’ and the ‘1’ are in purple patches, it actually becomes a viable method of winning games. No-one can get past you and you score on the break. Every time. Or, rather, both times.

But if Harry and Sonny are having not such a great time, the entire edifice collapses. And all you’re left with a team who have no fucking clue how to attack when not ‘on the break’. Who amble up the pitch and just kind’a stall and go backwards again.

Years ago I was at Spurs (old WHLane), in the Upper West stand (cynics and miseries allowed only) and we scored in the 2nd minute. An old git (they’re all old gits there) behind me said “oooh, its too early to score, not happy about that…”

I thought at the time IS HE MAD??? It’s never too early to score. And yet, in the Morinho method, that becomes a valid comment. We scored early yesterday in the first minute. And immediately ran out of ideas. And though Wolves weren’t good, given sufficient chances, something’s gotta go in. And it fucking did.

My love affair with Jose is waning. Again. It’s very tempestuous.

Unhappy sodding Monday

A xxxx