If you’re not an unrelenting petrol-head, or if you drive a Prius on ‘ecological grounds’ or are any other form of tosser or even a save-the-planet eco-warrior who will only get on a bus if its fully electric, won’t eat meat and name your children ‘White Rhino’ or ‘Cherry Blossom’, then look away now. This is not for you. Because on Saturday I spent the most wonderful 20 minutes imaginable (other than with Lila, obvs) in a car showroom.

Well, it used to be a car showroom, they sold BMWs and Minis. And its a 10 minute walk from home. It was called ‘Hexagon of Highgate’ because it was within a short bus-ride of Highgate. And Highgate apparently sounds better than ‘East Finchley’ where the place actually is, on the high road, approximately 25 yards from the tube station bearing the same name. And they moved the showroom into Highgate proper (probably trades description issues) and decided to put the bosses collection of ‘vintage’ cars in the old building. Which is a really fab and ultra-modern building, now housing their ‘collectable’ car sales unit.

Because anyone can ‘collect’ old cars like they have, as long as they have several million pounds to spare. Its that easy. But they don’t know who the buyers are from the browsers. So I walked across the forecourt, upon which sit their used cars. All of which, about 30 of them, are Porsche 911s. All 2/3 years old and 25 of them are red, white or blue. Looks quite amazing. If you want a used Porsche, which I don’t.

Because in pride of place in the window sits the car above. A cream-coloured, 1957 Mercedes 300 SL. Possibly the most beautiful car ever made. The first ever sighting of ‘gull-wing doors’. But its not about the doors. Its about the line of the vehicle. Its about the sheer, era-defining elegance, its about over-riders on chrome bumpers, its about the most gorgeous fucking hub-caps ever. It was never about ‘drag coefficients’, it stuck 2 fingers up to ‘economy’ and no-one gave a shit about the planet in 1957. It also looks in the same condition as the day it was born. Immaculate and totally original. Yours for £1.2 mil. “Oh Mel… please!!!… can’t we just… ANYTHING! JUST LET ME HAVE IT!!!!

But no. We ventured further in. I’ll just say it once so as not to repeat: every car is totally pristine and without any suggestion of a flaw. The Ferrari Dino, my favourite of about 5 prancing horse jobs they have there. The Aston DB4, driven in a race by Stirling Moss, the DB5, the XK120, the XK150 all wonderful and amazing. The Ferrari California convertible, 1961 is a bit of a bargain at 10 mil.

“Can I help you at all?” inquired the very nice man who hadn’t decided if we were eccentric super-rich people or just really scruffy plebs. “Yes, I said, you can. Follow me round and wipe up after I’ve drooled over these cars, would you?”

I’m going back to steal one. Haven’t finalised the plans yet, but its got to happen. They probably wouldn’t even miss it.

Happy Monday

A xxxx