Every time Spurs win a football match I like to let people know. Most aren’t interested. Understandable. But the boys in my morning cafe are big football fans. Even though they’re Spanish and that’s a nation that thinks to run a first class football league you only really need 2 teams. They’ve been here long enough to understand the massive superiority of the Premiere League over all others in the entire world. Because I tell them repeatedly. I tell them how good our league is and that the only difference between LaLiga and the Scottish Premiere League is the accents. They appreciate that.

So this morning, I went in with my arms raised above my head in celebration of last night’s wonderful win over Dortmund in the Champions League. And ‘big brother’ (there are 2 brothers there; one small, whip thin, fit as a fiddle and yet just had 2 heart attacks, and one really big, massively overweight and is in peak health; go figure) sneered at me. As if to say ‘really?’ Like it was no big deal. Even though Champions League is ‘proper’ and Dortmund are good. Well, they were, when Klopp was there. And he should understand that, being a European, and a ‘forriner’ an’ all.

And I thought: when did I last strut into my cafe with my arms aloft? The last match Spurs won (in all fucking competitions), was Crystal Palace. I was in Tenerife and the cafe was closed for xmas break. The previous time we claimed victory was against Brentford on December 6th. A long time ago. If 24 hours is a ‘long time in politics’, how long is it in football years? We could get through 3 managers in that time.

On Monday I crept into the cafe in case Kevin the West Ham fan barrister’s clerk was in there. He’s a totally lovely guy, but I would have run away rather than have to encounter him on that day.

So much in life is just difficult when you’re a Spurs fan. Because we win so infrequently that when it happens I have to gloat. I have to mock. I have to be… possibly a caricature of the most annoying football fan in the world. And the rest of the time I pay the price for being so horrible. Or creep around avoiding people.

Do I think we need a new manager? No. I don’t. Keep him. He has ‘something’. Ok, that something isn’t working too well currently, but I feel positive. Today. After our win.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx