I used to eat a lot of McDonalds. Food mainly. Cheeseburgers particularly, but not exclusively. And by ‘a lot’, I mean by my standards of ‘a lot’, not yours. I mean ‘a lot’ starting at a baseline of ‘way too much’ and working up to ‘a lot’ from there. Because of my fortunate metabolism (bless you, Father) I don’t put on weight. So I never have to do that most awful of things, ‘resist temptation’. Don’t think I could. I wannit, I eat it. End of. So if you didn’t hate me before, and I’ve given you so much opportunity, you should do now. And thus, due to the sheer convenience and addictive value of McDonalds, I would pig out 2 or 3 times for lunch every week, and always a trip with the girls at the weekend.

And then they invented ‘cholesterol’. Bastards. And ‘my life changed’. It wasn’t ‘that high’ but a little and so I adopted a lifestyle change and went cold turkey on Maccy-Ds. In fact if they offered cold turkey that would have saved me, but they don’t. There’s not sufficient fat in it to find a home under the Golden Arches. So I stopped. Pretty much altogether. (The McDonalds in Fleet Street has since closed forever, and I feel in some way responsible. Just not a very big way.) Other than ice cream. Because their ice cream is simply wonderful and can’t be that high in fat, can it? I don’t know, don’t care, never researched it. And about once every 3 years Mel & I will be in some far away land, hungry, hot and Google translate can’t cope with that dialect of Hindi, or Eastern Japanese and we need the comfort of knowing its all safe and clean-ish and doesn’t need thinking about. And we succumb.

Yesterday we took Lila and Joey to see a kid’s ‘show’ at a theatre in Leicester Square. So we went for lunch. And thought… ‘hmmmm, what about McDonalds?’ So we had to contact their parents to ask permission, check with social services, consult three doctors and an obesity clinic and get everything signed off with lawyers before you can actually enter one of ‘those places!!!’ Did they like it? To a degree. Loved the nuggets, disappointed with the ‘toy’. Did I like it? Never a doubt.

Happy Friday

A xxxx