Politics is a serious business. Its about running the country, our lives, our tax bills. Can’t get more serious than that. Yet I tend to make judgments about people by their humour, rather than their seriosity (new word to describe the terminally humourless). And I’m not the most natural Conservative voter, let the truth be told. Ok, I’m an ageing old middle class tax avoider (if only) but I’m also a ‘craft beer socialist’, even a ‘whisky socialist’, which are the modern versions of the champagne variety. I want a fairer world for everyone, I just don’t want to be totally, personally responsible for paying for it.

But the fact of the matter is, the Tories have humour. Not all of them, certainly not their leader. But Michael Gove does, Boris did have but overplayed that hand excessively. Jacob Rees-Mogg would be humorous but chose to be a devout Catholic instead (totally opposing positions, incompatible in human form). And I count ‘wry’ as humorous. And lots of Tories are very much that.

But Labour has none. Maybe they are gut-bustingly, Monty Pythonly funny in private but don’t deem it appropriate in their public personae? In which case they keep it really well hidden. Possibly the only success of the current Labour Party, should that be the case. I hate people who take themselves too seriously. Especially if they are idiots.

Jeremy Corbyn leads the way for humourlessness. He has never made me even smile, other than when he’s caught lying. Which is quite often but the fun wears off. There again, he’s not that bright so its no surprise. He went to Loughborough polytechnic to study woodwork. And failed. But its not about education. Because I’m sure John McDonnell is better educated (can’t be bothered to look him up on Wiki) but also lacks humour completely. Diane Abbot is absolutely hilariously funny virtually every time she speaks. And always whilst taking herself really seriously. But there’s no intention, no wit, no ‘irony’, no nuffink other than plainly ridiculous stupidity.

The undisputed most humourless man in all politics, possibly in the whole world, including Kim Jong Un, is Kier Starmer. The shadow-Brexit-bore. You’d think, as a one-time eminent QC, as former Director of Public Prosecutions, that he’d be quite bright, a bit witty, have a quick put-down. But no. There’s nothing whatsoever behind the eyes. Its a void. Almost vampire-like in its totality. And never mind ‘funny’, the man struggles to put a coherent sentence together that doesn’t include “Theresa May’s failure to reach a new deal”. Yet never offers his own version of what that ‘deal’ might look like.

So Kier Starmer, QC, MP, becomes my ‘tosser of the week’ (and many other weeks too).

Happy Thursday

A xxxx