According to sources, (cos I wouldn’t read it under torture), yesterday’s Daily Male contained 11 pages of ‘news’ about Prince Andrew, 7 pages about Spurs and 6 about the general election. Ok, its a shitty newspaper but I think really that’s the state of the gossip in the nation. Particularly this part of the nation. In North London. Not sure what the general population (ie non-football fans) in Huddersfield think about Jose Morinho’s appointment but its probably ‘not much’. We down here also think ‘not much’ but in a completely different way. And the people of Huddersfield have bigger concerns, like getting a new chancellor for their university. As the old one (Prince Andrew) has… errrr… he’s been… well, let’s just say is ‘no longer fit for purpose’. At such an esteemed seat of learning. He’s only good at turning a fender-bender into a total international, catastrophic train-wreck with no survivors. How’d that interview go, Andy?

Jeremy Corbyn’s manfesto is… is BRILLIANT!! It promises the world and offers EVERYTHING we, the public need. He’ll take a few bob here from the billionaires (everyone hates them) and a couple quid a week from there (massive corporations… hmmmm… even though they seem to employ more than just a few ‘workers’) and borrow a bit from… some other people (foreigners really, don’t count as real money) and in return WE (the entire nation of good Britishers) get free fucking broadband!! AND better broadband than they get in… Starbucks!!! Though Starbucks will have left the country by then because of increased corporation tax capital gains tax. The NHS will get all their ambulances polished every week (£6billion a year) and nurses will get shorter skirts on their uniforms to make it more like ‘Carry On Doctor’. (£9 bil). He’s also taking back the post office, the gas and electric, the trains and possibly McDonalds in the ‘FREE BIG MACS FOR EVERYBODY!!!’ giveaway. (£22 bil).

So you can google to your heart’s content whilst getting fat. And all FREE!!!

Students will pay NOTHING for ANYTHING; tuition, books, pencils, computers, drugs, booze and lawyers to defend the rape charges. All free. (£77 bil).

The old will get all the care they need, starting at age 49 when full, final-salary pensions kick in, plus carers and all bills paid (£486 bil).

Those in between the students and the ‘old’ will get more things, great things, big things, wonderful things.

And all at a total cost of…

The complete removal of incentive, inspiration, career aspiration and most job creation.

Surely that’s not too high a price?

VOTE LABOUR.

A xxxx