When Mauricio Pochettino was sacked by Spurs I was devastated. And later, that very same day, when Jose Morinho was appointed new manager, I was… even more devastated. Distraught. It was ‘the worst day of my life’ (pre-covid). It was ‘the end’.

Well, ‘the end’ ended yesterday. And has metamorphasised into a new beginning. As even the most die-hard, stick-in-the-mud, obsessive, resistant-to-change, Spurs-flamboyance devotee (that’ll be me then), has ‘seen the light’. The Morinho light. And now, like the team, like players and fans of all the clubs he has so successfully managed, I’m starting to get it. Because it is working. And never has the Morinho way been exemplified better than it was yesterday against Arsenal. We’d seen it against Manchester City, seen it working well. We endured it against Chelsea. And yesterday the Morinho Method was definitively deployed against Arsenal. Who are either haplessly inept or simply made to look so by a tactician so masterful, and a team so ‘on message’, that if it had been anyone but the Arse I’d have felt embarrassed for them.

Here’s a statistic for you. Remember, only football statistics have any validity. Morinho has managed Premier teams 11 times who have ended with less than 30% possession. And won 9 of those games. Drawn 1, lost 1, if you’re interested.

Thus his preferred method of play is ideally suited for Arsenal. A team who, in every match, have more possession, more shots on goal, more passes, crosses, more fucking EVERTHING, without ever actually scoring a goal. They’re so busy admiring their elegant passing and flowing moves that they can’t actually be worried about something so trivial as ‘end product’.

I described such a method as footballing masturbation when deployed by Man City the other week. Arsenal have elevated it to become the absolute ultimate wankers in the League. Bless ‘em.

Mikel Arteta is obsessed with crossing the ball. That’s all they do. Very un-Arsenal, but that’s his plan. So Arsenal yesterday produced 34 crosses. Better than the 30 last weekend when they also lost. They cross the ball without having any attackers capable of heading it. Spurs 2, then later 3, centrebacks, all big boys, had just no problem clearing every single one.

But the defend, defend, defend plan only works if you can produce something at the other end. Otherwise every game ends up at nil nil like last the Chelsea one. And there is currently no strike pair on the same planet at Son and Kane. Obviously aided and abetted by a host of other talent, but more ‘planet Earth’ talent. Those two turn 1 point into 3, week in, week out. If either gets injured, we’re fucked, but for the time being 30% possession feels like just where I want to be. Oh, and top of the table, I almost forgot (AS IFFFFFF!!!!!!)

Happiest Monday ever

A xxxx