Here’s a question:

What is a mandate? Is it:

A. A small flightless bird from Ecuador, nearing extinction, and best served with a guinea pig (well, it is ‘small’)?

B. A website for gay men to hook up and find true love or at least cheap sex?

C. The nation’s most overused term by really annoying politicians, particularly small, loud, relatively insignificant, red-headed Scottish ones and Front Bench Opposition bores?

Answers on a postcard to:

The Rishi Sunak Heating the House Fund
10 Downing Street, or the house in Holland Park, the one in Yorkshire, possibly one in America or India.

“Rishi Sunak has no mandate to lead the country”, they cry. The people must speak! Hold a general election now! There’s no mandate for all this current shit.

All of which is true. But totally irrelevant. Nicola bleedin’ Sturgeon and Kier poxy Starmer and Angela soddin’ Rayner bang on and on about holding an election because ‘the prime minister has no mandate from the people!!!’ Yeah, well he doesn’t have a shell suit from Sport Direct either, which is equally as meaningless.

We didn’t ‘vote for Boris’. We voted for our local MP. I voted for Mike Freer because he’s lovely, accessible and gay. Only people in Uxbridge ‘voted for Boris’. We don’t have a president here. We have a king, we have several princes, many of them not child-abusers, and we have a Prime Minister. But we don’t ‘vote for the leader’, we vote for an MP. And the party with most MPs get to form a government. And (God help us) we gave our collective mandate to the Conservative Party, with a massive majority. Due to Boris, yes, due to (fucking) Brexit, undoubtedly, but we voted for ‘them’, not ‘him’. That’s our constitution. He then formed a government. When he left, someone else rather disastrously formed one. For a little while. And now its Rishi’s turn. Because he is now the leader of the party with the most seats in Parliament.

I get that to be in opposition is to be opportunistic, but banging on about ‘mandates’ is simply incorrect and plays on misconceptions and lack of understanding, even confusing us with the American system to score points.

Rishi does not need a fucking mandate. His party has all the mandates he needs.

So can we stop this right now. It’s boring.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx