Ok, so January’s over, the transfer window has closed for football, and here are the results:
Spurs bought three new players, though unloading Matt Doherty may feel like we got 4. Arsenal bought a few new ones, and one very old one, but I’d have Jorginho in my team any day. Except Thursday. Manchester City hardly bought anyone. Mainly because they pretty much own virtually all the best players anyway. Manchester United made a couple of acquisitions… and Chelsea bought the rest. All of them. Every available, and quite a few thought unavailable, player made their way to Stamford Bridge. Hundreds of them. Costing billions. And billions, and billions. Because them Yanks know how to do shit. And buying players in such an excess that you’d have the dogs from Financial Fair Play sniffing all along the Kings Road, but no. Firstly, the FFP don’t use dogs, they use doves and cuddly wittle wabbits, because they’re spineless tossers. And secondly because what Chelsea have done, in their massive spending spree is something new. Something to avoid falling foul of the authorities. They’ve paid ridiculous transfer fees, but spread them over the terms of the players rather long contracts. Much longer than usual. So you buy some Spanish diva for 100 million, but give him a 10 year contract and pay his old club 10 mil a year for its duration. That way, rather than having a spend way in excess of what’s allowable this year, they only have to pay a fraction of that cost during any one year. A rather cynical ploy that is being shored up by UEFA, or FIFA, as soon as suitcases full of cash reach sufficient levels for them to act. But meanwhile, dozens of new boys are arriving in SW10 for their medicals and to have the mandatory ‘666’ tattooed on their heads.

And thus starts the second half of the season. One in which everyone is waiting for Arsenal to slip up, for Manchester City to up their game, for Brighton and Brentford to carry on entertaining, and for Liverpool to get relegated.

And fantastic news for Spurs fans today. Antonio Conte, our manager, has been admitted to hospital with cholecystitis. And I’m sure all of us are sending our wishes to the staff to keep him there for as long as possible, preferably at least until May.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx