India is soooo different. Wonderfully, loudly, brightly, olefactorily, different. It assaults the senses, all of them. Simultaneously. And at once. but you have to be careful. First there’s Delhi Belly. Then we left there and we’re in Goa. Where, presumably, you can get Goa Gut. Generally, you are careful of India Intestine. But the colours here, the smells, the sights are sensational.

The other main difference between ‘home’ and India is moustaches. They’re everywhere. Mainly on men, but by no means exclusively. In Britain when you see a man with a moustache you know it must be November and he’s doing it for charitable purposes. Over here, every month is Movember. And you have to consider why? Why would any nation with aspirations to be an economic super-power, a rapidly developing society, keep such an oddity as the moustache? And they appear to wear them with no sense of irony whatsoever. I call it ‘Sultan of Brunei Syndrome’, in which the desire to look like a Bollywood superstar overtakes common good sense and style. I’m going to set up a charity: send all your old razors to India to help keep them in line with the west where, as a rule, you can have a moustache or a sense of humour but you can’t have both.

Barak Obama; saintly pioneering first afro-Am Prez ever, or hateful Judas-tosser who left his last 3 weeks to show his true colours (no pun intended) and upset everybody whilst he still can? I make no judgments. Ok, I make loads of judgments and he is a tosser. And remember, this is a man we all loved to pieces when he first won, 8 years ago. Following that, he’s done virtually nothing of any substance for 7.95 years, until last week. When America refused to use its veto on the Israeli settlements bill which was passed. Not that the UN knows or means anything, as has been proved… every time its said or done anything, itself a rare occurrence. But that’s not the point.

I can even forgive Obama his misguided failure to stand by its ‘ally’, but never for allowing John Kerry to whitter on for 45 minutes of lip-licking (what IS that all about?) boredom as he tired to explain the decision, seemingly oblivious to the old adage: when you’re in a hole, STOP DIGGING.

I love Isreal; hate the settlements. But, unlike, apparently, Obama and Kerry, I appreciate that the settlements in the West Bank are not ‘the issue for peace’. Its so stupidly naive and moronic to think otherwise, let alone bang on about it when everyone else in the room has fallen asleep 20 minutes ago. Maybe Kerry hasn’t read the Hamas charter, or that of Hezbollah, which wants the complete destruction of the Jewish state for ever. No mention of settlements.

Then Obama sent home 35 Russian diplomats. Wow!! That’s tough! Though not exactly Kennedy’s Cuban missile crisis. Putin, in the sweetest ever retaliation states he ain’t sending nobody home and invites all the American diplomats, and their families to the Kremlin for a New Year’s party. And intends to wait for ‘President Trump’ before doing anything. See, Putin has no moustache but a wicked sense of homour.

Happy hot Goan Saturday

A xxxx