I’m marching today for peace. Well, actually, for a ceasefire in Gaza. That’s the headline cause for the march. Ceasefire. Yeah. And 50,000 of us misguided tossers parading round the streets of Westminster shouting for ‘jihad’ (no idea what that means but it sounds great) and ‘from the river to the sea!’ (I asked three people which river and sea but they couldn’t tell me) and calling for a ceasefire so loudly that the IDF over there bombing innocent children in Gaza will immediately stop. And furthermore, Hamas will definitely listen to me and my group of data processors from Milton Keynes when we make our demand. Cease-fire!!! Hamas are good at diplomacy. My mate told me. Ok, I know they killed a few people in Isreal the other week, but that was… errrr… that was different. From a humanitarian perspective. Because… well, there’s history. Apartheid. Oppression. Held in the ‘prison’ of Gaza. By the ‘nazis’ of Israel. My mate Nigel told me and he once shook hands with Jeremy Corbyn, so he must know. Someone told me that 20% of Israelis are Arabs! I mean, that’s obviously fake news, right? Otherwise they’d have the right to vote, access to healthcare, education, even for women!!, and be soldiers in the IDF and part of the judiciary!!! I mean; can you believe that? Rubbish. Even though I’ve never been to Israel, or Gaza, and couldn’t really find it on a map.

We’re also really opposed to ‘the West’ so we’d like to go to the American embassy, because they need to hear our cry as they are… they are really West!!! So we hate them. And then we’re going to try to get to the Cenotaph. Because it represents Western war-mongering and Imperialism. Nigel said so. Though my great-grandad lost a foot in Flanders, so I’m a bit conflicted. Though don’t suppose they’ve got the foot at the American embassy.

However, for today, I’m a Palestinian first and British just by virtue of birth, upbringing, culture, education and all my entire life except for 2 weeks in Magaluf and a weekend in Berlin in 2016 with Nige. That’s why I’m holding a ‘Free Palestine!’ flag and another which shows Jews being marched into gas chambers. Because Jews are the problem. Not sure what that problem is, but getting rid of Jews seems a good place to start. Then we can have our Ceasefire!!! Like the last ceasefire which was on October 6th. Well, Hamas broke that one but only because of the force of ‘history’. It was an awful thing that happened on the next day, but you can understand why it had to happen. So we’re marching for peace. And that’s a ‘peace’ as defined by Hamas, which may differ from classical understanding of the word.

Ceasefire NOW!!!

Rupert xxxx