Ahhh, the MayDay holiday today, even though official ‘mayday’ was officially yesterday. Officially. So rather than hurling bricks at Goldman Sachs and setting fire to various Starbucks, the normal Mayday rioters took to Clerkenwell to listen to the great Jeremy Corbyn address the masses. I’d rather paint a wall. So I did. In Mel’s study. With virtually no police presence around.

And there was JC, in his element, surrounded by red flags and, apparently, people holding aloft images of Stalin. Oh, that’s nice.

I could understand perhaps, if you’re almost off-the-scale to the left, revering Mao Tse Tung. Lenin. Maybe Castro. Certainly Che Guevara. But Stalin?? Firstly he was dog ugly; always the most important consideration when passing judgment on political leaders, and secondly, he killed so many millions of Russians, and imprisoned so many millions more in ‘labour camps’ that actual numbers remain unknown to this day. Unlike Stalin’s neighbours, the Nazis, he didn’t make the mistake of keeping meticulous records of all names, dates, numbers. Some things are best not recorded.

And this is the man deified by Corbyn’s mates. The most brutal tyrant the world has ever known. Including Hitler. The most total totalitarian ever. His political style was not so much ‘my way or the highway’ as ‘my way or the FUCKING CEMETERY’. He considered no opposition. Such actions would be deemed treason, anti-party, anti-Russian and dealt with rather severely.

And this is Corbyn’s aspirational leader. Which in a way puts into context the ‘great progressive’, the great ‘man of the people’ (Jeremy, not Joseph) his adherence to all bad people in the world he can find. The IRA, Hamas, as long as you can claim more than 100 murders, JC’s your man.

More importantly, Leicester City are one point away from the league title. One which I really can’t begrudge them. For the people of Leicester it is quite a magical moment in history. I’ve been to Leicester; fucking awful place. Give them something to relieve the misery of living in the East Midlands. Surely some of them must deserve it?

And magical it will be (because it is quite inevitable now). A fairy tale. Even though football is the most homophobic place in the modern world outside Riyadh.

But I don’t want them to win it tonight. And only a win for Spurs at Chelsea can prevent it, or at least, delay it til the weekend. For numerous reasons I want my team to win tonight. The main one being based on a philosophical point that I FUCKING HATE CHELSEA!!!!! and all the other reasons being rather less intellectually based.

Happy Monday (oh let it be so, per-leaeaeaease)

A xxxx