Hell hath no fury like a French tart scorned; so the saying goes. So if you add the total fury of all the Dantean levels of hell to the natural bitchiness of a pretty normal Parisienne, you end up with Valerie Trierweiller’s new book. Called ‘merci pour ce moment’. Its basically an attack on her ‘ex’, President Hollande, who played away, on his chauffeur driven motor-scooter, with his instantly recognisable shoes giving the game away. And in the book, which I’ve read… ok, even if it was in English I wouldn’t lower myself to enter the outpourings of a broken-hearted, scorned and bitter world of deceit and disappointment. I get that at Spurs. Yet never before has a ‘kiss’n’tell’ book been published specifically about an incumbent head of state. If France is still a state. Its in a state, but ‘what France actually is’ requires a book of its own. Yet the secrets come out. Hollande hates the working class voters; thinks they’re stupid, whilst preaching his ‘socialism’ for their benefit.

But Hollande likes women in his government. Another ‘ex’ is now back on the team, Segolene Royale, the mother of his 4 children, and minister for Green things, despite Trierweiller voting for ‘anyone but her’. And another woman in his government is also doing very well currently. Najat Vallaud-Balkacem, a name that just slips off the tongue, is education minister for all of France with a bee in her headscarf about equality. Ok, she doesn’t really wear a headscarf, in fact she’s rather a modern lady, certainly in attitude. So she wants a virtual ban on sexual stereotyping in schools. Equality begins, so she feels, by giving kids the choice to cross-dress, to have equal access to pink, she wants to ‘eliminate all gender differences between children’ but falls short of suggesting gender reconstruction available on the national health.

And speaking of the sexually ambiguous always makes me think of UKIP. Who now look set to actually have a seat in our parliament. Something that, for all their claims of victories and landslides and popularity, they currently lack. So they stole a Tory. Douglas Carswell had lived his whole life as a lie. He’d been raised as a Conservative man yet always felt that ‘it wasn’t the real him’, so he had to decide what to do. Have the gender reassignment (very painful, very expensive and you end up looking like a plonker in a wig wearing high heels) or join UKIP, the next best thing. So they’re having a by-election in October, in Clacton-upon-sea, his constituency, to see if those locals want to keep the treacherous bastard as their MP, now he represents ‘the dark side’. And according to polls, he is 34% ahead of the conservatives. Or 46%, 23%, 98% (sponsored by UKIP), or 57%, depending which poll you choose to ignore. And you can’t help thinking for any right wing Eurosceptic tory, moving to the Modern Fascist Party is a good personal move. Because I’ve never heard his name mentioned for all his years as a Tory nobody. But in UKIP he’ll be a front page superstar. Its like Mario Balotelli joining the MKDons.

Politics, politics, politics…

Happy thursday

A xxxx