What are you doing on Christmas Day? Eating turkey? Watching re-runs of a Queen’s Speech? Fun with the family? Well why not do the decent thing and invite Prince Andrew round as well? You’re supposed to find lonely, unloved people, who would otherwise be all alone, watching The Morecombe and Wise Christmas Special, eating a tv dinner, microwaved from Aldi’s ‘ultra-high-processed Christmas Treat’ selection, out of its tin foil container, whilst their old dog, Rufus, farts in the corner. And YOU have the power to just CHANGE A LIFE!!!

Because that’s what Andrew will otherwise be doing. Except his dog ran away after the Epstein business so he’d have Fergie farting in the corner instead. Nobody loves him. His own brother!!!! has told him not to come for dinner. He’s ‘unwelcome’. They can’t find a place for him among the 70-odd ‘extended family’ who’ll be sharing the Royal Turkey. No, I don’t mean it was like ‘the king of all the turkeys, strutting round the farmyard in a sodding crown’, just the turkey royals eat. Probably need 2 for all those people.

Yet no room for Andy. Which is fucking mean, if you ask me. But they won’t have him. Even though he promised he wouldn’t steal the silverware. Well, not too much of it.

So Andy and Fergie, the great unloved, are cut off from those they truly love and deeply abuse financially in any way they can. Is this really what King Charles sees as ‘the spirit of Christmas’? Would Jesus have invited Andrew round? Let he who hath not sinned cast the first pig-in-blanket, kind’a thing? I’d invite him myself except we’ll be away for the festivities. And, obviously, I wouldn’t let him within a mile of Lila. Or Joey, but that’s just for his own safety. He may have survived charges of paedophilia, corruption and spying over the years, but he wouldn’t last 10 minutes with my grandson.

Maybe Andrew can have Christmas with Harry & Meg. That would be the obvious move. All the Hated Royals together.

Or YOU can invite them all.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx