I love a Prime Minister.

Just, not necessarily this one. But Boris was, in the real world, a journalist and more, a right wing, overly verbose, reactionary, quite eloquent journalist with a penchant for metaphorical references drawn from his degree in classics and his love of history. In other words; he was just made for writing in The Mail. Where you can’t be too right wing or too pretentiously snobby for that rag. So they let him have his own page today. And this, unless some eager sub-editor with a love of Attenborough documentaries penned it, was the ‘heading’. He could have entitled it ‘shit-storm, part 943’, I know I would have. Or even ‘stay calm’ or ‘protect Christmas’ or even ‘Christmas is the new NHS’, but instead he chose to stretch a metaphor invoking beautiful images of animals running free across the African tundra. Because such imagery really resonates with unemployed steel workers from Sunderland. And shielding octogenarians in Croydon.

Boris continues his piece with a reference to the vaccine. ‘Coming to our aid with the morale-boosting, bugle-blasting excitement of Wellington’s Prussian allies on the afternoon of Waterloo’.

Tosser.

I think, in his defence, Boris is stuck in Churchill-land. Someone made that reference and its stuck. So rather than just, kind’a, ‘talking’ to people, he has become Mr Motivator! Mr Uplift!! Mr ‘we’ll fight them on the beaches…’

For future reference, Boris, you can only use metaphors which allude to football or episodes of Britain’s Got Talent. Coronation Street at a push. Otherwise you just sound like some kind of upper class, over-educated, ex-Etonian fat-boy showing off his excessive erudition.

No judgments, just sayin’ is all.

And his old school is not doing so well at the moment either. Eton school sacked a teacher. For being too… well, that’s interesting. Eton has a ‘diversity’ commitment, obviously, they even allow black kids there (only 1) and poor kids (1). But they basically have to pretend to be massively ‘woke’ in all respects. Even though it is very probably the least woke place on the entire planet.

So a teacher put a (covid-era, obvs) video out for those studying ‘perspectives’, a brilliant concept in which they look at established values from (doh) other ‘perspectives’. And this teacher questioned the radical feminist concept of ‘toxic manhood’. Not as a ‘lesson’, not because it’s what he believed, but true to the spirit of ‘perspectives’ he was playing devil’s advocate by questioning the accepted doctrine.

And they sacked him. For being… well, I’m not sure. Not right-on enough. At fucking Eton??? I despair. But then again, desperation seems to be my new norm.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx